


Tales of the Society: The Azure Age Chapter 3

by LadyofI



Series: Tales of the Society [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: The Nexus is a strange place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 17:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19977910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofI/pseuds/LadyofI
Summary: So, with new blood in their ranks, the CS decides to do a trust-building exercise. Will they come out of the Nexus Underground on top, or will they be trapped by the constant shifting chunks?





	1. Getting Your Feet Wet

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy, this is where it starts to pick up and go really crazy.

_“So_ that’s _how you guys managed as you did after the fact.” The short pony nodded to the Councilmen and their new arrival, still shivering by the fire. “The Initiative were too busy partying over your ‘deaths’ to bother checking for your body.”_

_“Makes sense from my end.” The comment came from an anthropomorphic arctic wolf with red and black clothes and a strange pendant around her neck. “I’m guessin’ you and the Initiative didn’t meet for a while afterwards, eh?” she asked._

_“Indeed,” Max said. “We had no idea that the Initiative was just as fledgling as we were at the time - as far as we knew, they had a whole lot more ordnance where that Cobalt Bomb came from. Instead, we stuck it out in solitude, preparing ourselves to fight back and acclimate our new members to life in the Society.”_

_“Mhm! And it was a fun couple days!” Emily leapt from her seat for a moment, before Becky pulled her back down and the rest of the group looked to Brian to continue._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

# Tales of the Society - The Azure Age

****

## Chapter 3.1: Getting Your Feet Wet

****

_**Last time on Tales of the Society...** _

_Following their successful attack on the Crimson Society HQ, the Azure Initiative believed the Crimson Council to be dead. As such, they turned their attention to strengthening their position in the Nexus and tracking down the last loose end: Tsuneo, the former fifth Councilman._

_However, unbeknownst to the Initiative, their enemies were still alive, having escaped through the Nexus Underground. Emerging in a remote location, they set up a new base and recruited four new members: Tim, Emily, Juliet, and Becky. It seems that the rebirth of the Crimson Society is well underway…but can the Council avoid making the same mistakes as last time? And what will happen when the Initiative learns of its rival’s continued existence?_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So there’s the grand tour. Any questions?” Brian called back to his allies.

Juliet immediately raised a hand. “When the hell are we gonna get back at those Azure jerks for bombing your original base?” she asked.

“That _is_ a good question…but my answer is that we’ve got bigger concerns first,” Brian replied. “Specifically, we need to learn to fight as a team. You should know better than anyone what happens if allies can’t completely trust each other, Juliet.”

“Point taken, Spiderlegs.” Juliet frowned as she recalled her previous distrust of Brian when they had first met during the Newborn Incident.

“I concur; before we can think of payback, we must be able to work as a single unit,” Max stated. “The Initiative is united by their grudges against us; if we can’t band together as one to match them, we stand no chance of victory.”

“A fair point indeed - well spoken,” Tim agreed. “So then, how shall we begin developing our team-fighting skills?”

“Well, to start,” Eli said, “we’ll be doing some trust-building exercises.” He gestured to Brian, Max, and Scafe. “We Councilmen have no trouble putting our lives on the line for each other, and we know each other’s moves almost as well as we know our own. You guys gotta be the same - you gotta trust each other to have your back when the shit hits the fan.”

“And I know just the way to do it.” Brian gestured for the group to follow him back outside; just outside their new HQ, there was the opening to the undercrofts that the Councilmen had emerged from during their escape from the Azure Initiative’s attack.

“Ah, that’s smart,” Scafe nodded. “See, down here is the **Nexus Underground,** as we call it. The Sarge and the rest of us had to go through here to reach this place.”

“Very...interesting, to say the least.” muttered Athena.

“So…the test is to go down there?” Emily questioned.

Brian nodded as he began drawing something with his pencil. “In a sense, yeah. We’ll all take a grapple gun and split into pairs - one Councilman and one newbie. Everyone goes into the tunnel and takes a different route. Our objective is to fetch something from the worlds below. It has to be something of value to you both - not just anything will do.”

Becky raised an eyebrow. “Wait, _worlds_? What are you-”

“You’ll know it when you see it, trust us.” Brian threw his pencil in the air as he spoke, with eight lines falling down in one hand and the pencil falling into the other. “Now then, everyone, _draw_ straws.”

“ _Ugh,_ ” Zeus groaned. “ _I think Tim’s already rubbing off on you._ ”

“Hey, no comments from the Parasite gallery,” Scafe growled. “Just take a fucking stick, everyone.”

The other Society members looked at each other before gathering around Brian and taking a straw. They soon found that each one had a different color on its bottom end - red, green, black, or purple.

“Alright…” Emily squinted at the end of her straw. “I got the purple stick! Does that mean I’m with you, Brian?”

The spider-bunny shook his head as he held up a straw tipped with green. “Sorry, babe, but you’re gonna have to learn to hang with other people now.”

“But I already know how to do that!” Emily protested. “You just climb a tree, hook your leg over a branch, and-”

“I think that was a metaphor.” Max walked up behind Emily, a purple stick in his hand. “It seems that we’ll be going underground together for this exercise.”

“I got black.” Juliet nodded to the others, with Scafe nodding back. Eli looked at Becky, both with red sticks in hand; Brian and Tim were left with the green sticks.

“Alright, we’ve got our pairs,” Brian said. “Everyone grab a grapple gun and get ready to embark.”

“Screw your guns!” Scafe said. “I have wings!”

“True,” said Tim, “but _I_ am taking one just in case. You never know when you need a _timely_ backup plan…”

“I can already tell you’ll be giving me some headaches.” Juliet muttered, shaking her head as she grabbed a grapple gun. Scafe pouted theatrically, but grabbed a grapple gun of his own all the same.

Once everyone was ready, the pairs began heading down the tunnel into the Underground. Max and Emily went down the first side exit they found, Juliet and Scafe took the second, Eli and Becky left through the third exit, and Brian and Tim continued going straight ahead until they found a hole in the floor.

“Ready to dive into the unknown, Tim?” Brian asked.

“As certain as the clock’s hand never stops,” Tim replied.

With a nod to each other, Brian and Tim entered the hole, diving into the unknown realm below…

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Juliet and Scafe’s tunnel soon ended in the middle of the sky. With Juliet using her grappling hook and Scafe using his wings, they descended on a rather large chunk that appeared to be out on its own, apart from the tunnel they had entered from.

“Alright, we’re here,” Scafe said. “Before we start in earnest, lemme ask; what sort of stuff do you consider _valuable_ ”?

Juliet shrugged. “Depends. I never really bought into the idea of flashy, glitzy ‘treasure’ - I always judged stuff based on the story behind ‘em. Y’know, kind of making my _own_ treasures.”

“Hmm…well, I can work with that,” Scafe said. “I guess we’ll see what kind of story we write in this part of the world…” He regarded his surroundings - a quiet-looking suburban neighbourhood - with mild dismay. “Although this doesn’t look like the sort of place for any interesting stories.”

Juliet frowned as she surveyed the neighbourhood. “Figures we end up in Boringville. Can’t we go back and find another chunk?”

Scafe shook his head. “Nah - we might as well play by Brian’s rules here. Hmm...hang on a sec. I’ll see if I can’t spot anything interesting from above.” He spread his wings and took to the air - after a moment’s search, he dropped back to the ground, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Bingo!” he cried. “Juliet, we won’t need to go anywhere-”

“-’cuz ya saw something interesting?” Juliet finished. “Sounds good to me - lead on, Sir Dragonbreath.”

Scafe hesitated for a split second before leading Juliet down the road. “Alright, but…promise me you won’t judge on appearances. This is gonna be the first test of our trust, because I don’t know how you feel about where we’re going…”

“Ah, c’mon!” Juliet smirked. “I’m pretty open-minded, Scafe - I’m sure that this can’t possibly be anything b-” She froze as she and Scafe turned a corner, ending up on a hill overlooking a large building. “……You’re kidding,” she deadpanned. “ _This_ is what you were looking at?”

“Yep~” Scafe replied. “We’re taking a tour of _Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria_!”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max and Emily’s journey brought them to the edge of a bustling city. Lights spread across the land below them, and the skyline featured several large buildings, including a tall clock tower.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Max muttered. “I think we’re in London.”

“Uhh, wouldn’t it be Hell if you’re damned?” Emily asked.

Max stared at the goat-zombie for a few seconds before replying. “That’s _also_ an expression, Emily. …So, what do you think we should look for?” he asked.

Emily gave a long “Hmmmm” as she scratched her head, but her gaze shifted up to the sky as she noticed something. “Hey Max…how do you feel about giant flying hot dogs?”

“Giant…flying…hot dogs?” Max questioned.

“Just look overhead,” Athena suggested.

When Max followed the Parasite’s advice, he saw what had Emily’s attention; three large zeppelins slowly moving over the center of the city. If he squinted hard enough, he could just make out dozens of tiny dots flying away from the base of each airship and scattering across the city.

 _Wait a minute. Those almost look like-!_ Max’s unspoken fears were confirmed as explosions suddenly erupted all over London. His widened eyes narrowed to slits as he realized that the explosions were forming an unpleasantly familiar symbol.

“Heyyy, that looks familiar,” Emily said. “…Is N.E.D. here, too? Do we get to kick his ass now?” Her rising anticipation sharply contrasted the barely-restrained fury building in Max.

“We can only hope,” he growled. “Then we can show our friends his severed head!”

Emily cocked her head to one side. “But I wanna keep his head for a snack!” she said.

Max only drew his sword and began running towards the center of the chaos. After a moment, Emily followed, finding it surprisingly hard to keep up with the assassin.

“Hey Max, can I ask ya something?” Without waiting for an answer, she immediately continued. “How d’you run so fast with all those billowy clothes and that big-ass sword?”

“Training. Lots and lots of training.” Max didn’t even sound out of breath as he looked up and saw black-clad figures leaping from the zeppelins overhead and descending into the burning city. “Try to keep up, Em - we’re about to have some _major_ company.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tunnel Eli and Becky were following gradually sloped further and further upward - soon, they had to use their grapple guns to progress. As they climbed higher and higher, a strange noise became audible, although not clearly enough for them to identify it.

“Uhh…d’you hear that, Eli?” Becky asked nervously.

“I do,” Eli replied. “Might be something nasty at the end of this tunnel - just stay _frosty_ and be ready for anything.”

If she hadn’t been climbing a rope at the moment, Becky would’ve facepalmed. “I see that Scafe wasn’t kidding when he said you were a jokester,” she muttered.

“Just trying to keep the mood light,” Eli replied. “And speaking of _light_ …” He indicated a faint glow a few meters above them. “Looks like we’re getting close to something.”

Both Society members fell silent as they continued their ascent, hoping not to disturb whatever might be lurking at the end of the climb. At last, they reached a ledge, beyond which the light and noise seemed to be coming from - however, neither was prepared for just what they found on the other side.

“Holy-” Eli’s jaw dropped at the expansive underground chamber before him, filled with literal mountains of treasure. “Do you _see_ this, Bex?”

Becky nodded mutely, but her gaze quickly shifted to something else in the distance. “That’s not all I see,” she whispered. “Look over there!”

Eli squinted in the direction Becky was pointing, and could barely make out a tiny figure on the other side of the treasure hoard. More pertinently, something _much_ larger was moving underneath the piled riches - and if the changes in the background noise were any indication, it was the source of the strange sounds they’d heard earlier.

“Well, _that_ doesn’t look promising,” Eli said.

“Something tells me we’ll be getting our hands dirty…” Becky muttered.

“I hope not,” Eli replied, his ears drooping suddenly. “Because I think we’d be a _biiit_ outta our league…” He pointed to the shape rising from the sea of treasure - a colossal red dragon.

“ **There is something about you. Something you carry, something made of gold…but far more _precious_ …!**” Even with most of the room separating them, the dragon’s deep, rumbling growl could be heard as clear as day by the Society duo.

Becky’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she recognized the beast. “No way…… _Smaug the Magnificent?_ ” she squeaked. “Ohhh…we are so _screwed~!_ ”

Eli blinked at Becky’s elated tone. “Y’know, you sound remarkably chipper for someone who’s in the same room as a gigantic, murderous, fire-breathing lizard with wings,” he deadpanned.

“What can I say?” Becky shrugged. “I have a thing for dragons…and the works of Tolkien.”

“Eh, fair ‘nough,” Eli said. “Alright, here’s the plan - ol’ Smaug looks to be hunting the _other_ sap who stumbled into his lair, which buys us some time. There’s gotta be _something_ in this pile of bling that we can agree on as a worthy treasure, so we find it, grab it, and get the hell outta here before we’re turned into dragon hor d'oeuvres, got it?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Becky agreed. “Although I hope you’ve thought about what we’ll do if Smaug notices someone _else_ digging through his hoard?”

“Yeah - _dig faster_ and run like hell.” Eli was already climbing down into the nearest mound of gold, hoping that he and Becky would find what they sought before the dragon found them…

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian had made a number of questionable decisions in his life, such as his rejection of Emily and his disastrous first test of the Prototype Hostile Parasites. Choosing to lead Tim through the hole in the ground was not the _worst_ choice he’d ever made, but it was definitely up there.

“What…in the name of Grape Soda… _is_ this place?” he whispered, equally horrified and aghast at what he saw before him: a twisted mishmash of buildings and landscapes.

“I can tell you this much…” Tim responded. “It’s not like anything I’ve ever witnessed.”

Brian only shook his head. “I wish I could say the same,” he said, “but I recognize all too much of this place. Spongebob’s pineapple house…the Simpsons residence…that manga-esque Titans Tower…” He pointed to each building in turn, shuddering with every recognition. “My god…it’s like an unholy clusterfuck of every crappy cartoon I’ve ever known! One of them that I truly and utterly despise!!

“ _Still get war flashbacks about it, ey?_ ” Zeus responded. Brian only shivered in response.

“Ugh…I’ve never seen such a cartoon’s quality drop so fast since _Family Guy_ …” Brian shook his head. “And to think, I used to _like_ that show…I dunno if we’ll find anything worth keeping here, Tim…” He turned to regard the well-dressed pegasus, but found him to be gone. “Huh? Where’d he……aw crap.”

To Brian’s dismay, Tim had already descended into the streets below, looking around with interest. He clicked his tongue chidingly when he glimpsed the exasperated look on Brian’s face as the latter dropped down to meet him.

“Now now, Sergeant, remember what you once told me: “ _Every turd can have a kernel of gold._ ” Most of these cartoon shows were good at _some_ point in their original runtimes; perhaps this might be no different.”

“ _Pssh. Not sure if that’s just being hopeful or desperately grasping at straws,_ ” Zeus scoffed.

“Regardless, it falls to us to find _something_ worth keeping here.” Tim waved a finger at his superior with polite reprimand. “Remember that this _was_ your stipulation for the others - we are no exception. Besides, perhaps we can converse about each other to distract ourselves from the more…unsavory…parts of this place.”

Brian groaned, seeing the truth in Tim’s words. “Uuuugh…fine. Hold your breath, Zeus...we’re going in.” And with that, the pair entered the city below…and within a minute at the other side of the open world, they took cover behind a disgusting alleyway.

“…This is going to be a loooooong day…” both of them said in unison. Just outside the alley, an enormous, slavering mound of fat slouched past, dull, brutish laughter rumbling from its lard-encircled throat.

“ _What in the name of Juliet’s incredible rack was THAT?!_ ” Zeus hissed.

“First of all, fuck you and your titty-philia,” Brian said. “Secondly…call me crazy, but…I think that might’ve been Peter Griffin.”

“O-Oh dear… That’s quite a serious problem…” Tim looked about ready to vomit, but steeled himself. “I don’t remember him being _that_ bloated. C-come on, Sergeant…the sooner we go, the better.”

“No argument there,” Brian replied, peering out of the alley to see if the coast was clear. Seeing nothing of consequence, he signalled Tim to follow him down the streets, hoping to find an exit from this place before one of its warped denizens found them.

“ _Good fucking **god…**_ ” Zeus manifested an eye on Brian’s ear to glance around at the hatefully familiar buildings around him. “ _It’s like someone scraped out the worst parts of every cartoon ever, put them on endless loop, and stitched them together like a cartoon Frankenstein’s Monster!_ ”

“Indeed,” Tim said, cringing at the sight of a wart-ridden thing trying to pull a mangled  
pseudopod out from under a comically-oversized couch. “I fear that there may be no golden seed within this - oh dear.”

Brian followed Tim’s gaze to see what had his attention: something that may have once been four little boys, but what was now a twisting, coiling pillar of flesh with four slack-jawed, blood-drooling heads and a variety of bizarre, but lethal-looking objects sticking out of every angle. The thing had spotted the new interlopers in turn; its sickly-pink eyes rolled in their sockets, its malformed limbs twitched in their direction, and its jaws opened even wider than before as it gave a twisted, four-toned screech.

“ _Errrhhhnnnyyyygrrrrraaaaauuuuugbhh! Deeeeaaaauuuiiiiiikkoooooorrrrbbkeeeeeeemmmmeeeeeee!!! GHHOOOOOOBJAAAASSSSTOOOOOOOOBBSSS!!!!_ ” The cherry on top of the gruesome horror sundae came when one of the thing’s four heads inexplicably exploded in a shower of gore, releasing mucosal tendrils that blindly writhed and groped at the air.

“…Oh, you have _got_ to be shitting me here.” Brian reacted. “Tim…what do you make of this?”

“I certainly have no intention of letting it get near me,” Tim replied grimly, his lightsaber already in hand. “Whether we fight or flee is up to you, Brian.”

“…Wait a sec. Tim. You said somethin’ about a “golden seed”, right?” Brian pointed a spider limb at something on the other side of the road; something that did, in fact, look like a golden seed.

“…Huh.” Tim blinked. “What a _timely_ occurrence…although I hadn’t meant it to be so literal.”

“Good enough for me - let’s break formation and get the hell out of dodge!”

At that signal, the two split up and ran around the mass of flesh, trying to get it to lose track of one of them. The thing gurgled in confusion before settling on Tim, prompting him to pull out his stopwatch.

“ _Time out_ , abomination.” With that, Tim fired a ball of light-brown energy from his watch, striking the monster right between two of its heads. In a literal flash, the thing was frozen in place.

“Thanks Tim, now that golden thingamajig is mi- WHAT!?” Brian’s jaw dropped as he looked back to where the seed was. Now, it was in the nonexistent hands of a familiar - and strangely unaltered - pink figure, who promptly opened his mouth and swallowed it whole.

“Oh. My. _Fucking! GOD!!!_ ” Brian roared. “ **PAAATPRIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!** ”

The shout made the walking starfish turn, revealing a surprisingly alert and intelligent expression on his face. “Are you referring to myself, you…arachnid-lapine…amalgamation?” He trailed off as he registered just what he was looking at. “I’m sorry…which part of our city do you hail from?” he asked.

Brian’s fury evaporated in an instant, being replaced by confusion. “Uhh…what?”

“ _Is that starfish_ communicating?” Zeus asked incredulously. “ _With coherent sentences!?_ ”

“I take it…we’re not in Kansas anymore?” Tim asked rhetorically.

“Nope,” Brian replied. “I think we’ve landed somewhere straight out of bat country…and by “bat”, I mean _batshit crazy_.”

**-THE SOCIETY WILL RETURN-**


	2. Making Your Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So far, so good? The teams have seemingly found a chunk with their idea of 'treasure' on it. Now to escape with it.

****

# Tales of the Society - The Azure Age

****

## Chapter 3.2: Making Your Mark

****

_**Last time on Tales of the Society...** _

_In an attempt to build trust and teamwork skills between the established members and the new recruits of the Crimson Society, each Councilman has paired off with a newbie for a treasure hunt in the Nexus Underground. So far, each pair has found their own obstacles; Scafe and Juliet’s path brought them to a pizzeria owned by Fazbear Entertainment, Max and Emily’s quest has been interrupted by a surprise attack on a mysterious alternate version of London, and Eli and Becky have to find their treasure in the hoard of the dreaded dragon, Smaug._

_However, these trials are nothing compared to what Brian and Tim discovered; a twisted world containing the horrifically-mutated characters of their (not-so) favorite cartoons. Stranger still, they’ve just encountered a remarkably intelligent version of Patrick Star - what exactly_ is _this world, and can they complete their mission without losing their lives or sanity?_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The silence between Brian, Tim, and Patrick dragged out for several seconds, only to be broken by a familiar gurgling moan. Tim glanced behind himself to see the four-headed mutant slowly beginning to move.

“It appears that our other ‘ _friend’s_ ’ break is just about over,” he noted. “I suggest we flee to the higher ground-”

“That won’t stall them for long,” Patrick interjected. “Follow me, quickly!” Without waiting for an answer, he flipped up a nearby piece of pavement, revealing a dark shaft with a ladder on the side.

Brian and Tim exchanged glances before the latter inclined his head. “You outrank me, Sergeant,” he said. “What do you suggest we do?”

Brian glanced between Patrick, who was climbing down the shaft, and the slowly-unfreezing mutant. “Well, we sure as hell can’t stay here,” he began, “and there’s probably plenty more monsters around here…ahh, what the hell, let’s follow Patprick. Either he’s dumb enough for us to trick out of any trouble, or he’s smart enough to listen to reason - worst case scenario, we’ll just be ready for anything.”

Tim nodded and made a break for the shaft. Brian took one last glance around him, heaved a weary sigh, and followed his friend into the unknown just before the monster behind him could lash its slimy tendrils at him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I _still_ can’t believe we’re doing this,” Juliet grumbled as she and Scafe approached the pizzeria’s front door. “I don’t even _like_ this series…”

“C’mon, it’ll be easy!” Scafe replied. “It’s daytime, so the animatronics will be _totally_ harmless. Creepy, maybe, but harmless.”

Juliet didn’t look convinced. “Uhh, not to sound contrary or anything, but...you _do_ realize that those robo-beasts are haunted by vengeful child ghosts, right?”

Scafe shook his head. “Nah. If the look of this place is any indication, we’ve stumbled upon Fazbear Entertainment in their prime.” He paused as Juliet raised an eyebrow. “As in, _before_ anyone was shoved into a suit,” he clarified.

“So, lemme get this straight.” Juliet rubbed her chin in mock thought. “Instead of a shitty pizza place with homicidal haunted robots, we’re dealing with a shitty pizza place with _friendly, non-haunted_ robots?” She groaned theatrically. “Fan- _fucking_ -tastic. And here I was hoping for something fun…”

Scafe only sighed to himself as he and Juliet finally entered the pizzeria. Inside, children were running around, playing with each other, or gathered around the Show Stage; their parents were mostly clustered around the sides of the room or sitting at the tables, showing varying levels of wariness and exhaustion. More pertinently, however, Scafe and Juliet saw a trio of animatronics on the Show Stage; Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, and Toy Chica.

“Heh…it’s kinda nice to see those three when they’re _not_ trying to kill me,” Scafe mused. He looked beside him for Juliet’s reaction, only to find her scowling at Toy Chica. “Uhh…you okay, Juliet?” he asked.

“Grrr…she’s even _more_ horrible in person.” Juliet muttered to herself before turning to meet Scafe’s gaze. “Oh yeah, I should’ve mentioned earlier - I _hate_ chickens. Those fucking feathered abominations are meant to be dead and in my stomach - not living and breathing, ready to kill you! …Bad childhood experience; don’t ask.”

“Ooh, come on,” Scafe said. “They can’t be _that_ bad.”

“Oh really?” Juliet replied, a bit annoyed. “I won’t tell you the exact details of the incident that made me hate those feathered demons…but picture the Cucco Revenge Squad from _A Link to the Past_ …only 10 times worse. At least the Cuccos in the game don’t bombard you with their flying bird shi-”

“Excuse me, sir and ma-a-a’am… May I hel-el-elp you?”

The stuttering electronic voice made Scafe and Juliet turn. A new animatronic was regarding them curiously - a large yellow bear with a purple top hat and bow tie. As the Crimson Society duo looked back at the animatronic, it tipped its hat with a slight nod of its head.

“Hello-o-o! My name is Fran-an-ancis Fredbear, and welcome to Freddy’s Funtime Pizzeri-i-ia! The one and onl-l-ly home of Freddy Faz-z-zbear and his fabulous friends!”

Scafe did a double-take. “Wait…did you say _Freddy Fazbear?_ ” he asked.

“But of c-c-course!” Fredbear replied jovially. “He’s my dear cou-ou-ousin, and the leader of th-the Fazbear B-B-Band!” He paused as the lights around the Show Stage suddenly dimmed. “Sp-sp-speak of the bear, here he comes no-o-ow!”

Immediately, every child in the room rushed over to the stage as a familiar tinkling melody began to play. Scafe’s jaw dropped as another animatronic bear walked onto the stage, resembling a larger, older version of Toy Freddy. “Ooooooooooooh, sweet mother of nuts and bolts!” he finally said. “This…this is……this is…”

“Freaky, I know,” Juliet said, staring at the new Freddy.

“No…this…THIS IS AWESOME!!” Scafe nearly squealed in excitement.

If it had gone any higher, Juliet’s eyebrow would have floated off of her head. “…Are you kidding me right now…?”

“And a big th-th-thanks to my lil’ bro, Frankie Faz-z-zbear, and his amazin-n-ng friends! Weren’t they gr-r-reat, folks?” Freddy’s question made the kids around the room break into cheers as “Frankie” and the other Toy Animatronics bowed.

“Mother of God,” Juliet breathed. “Don’t tell me…”

Scafe nodded, barely able to contain his excitement. “Yep! This version of the pizzeria has _all of the animatronic mascots up and running!_ This must be some kind of…freaky-ass parallel universe where all the bad shit that hit Freddy’s _never happened!_ Oh man…wait’ll Bex hears about this…”

Juliet rolled her eyes at Scafe’s gushing, but her expression darkened even more when she noticed something in the shadows. “Don’t be too sure about that, Scafe,” she whispered.

“Huh?” Scafe finally tore his eyes away from Freddy - now accompanied by Bonnie and Chica as they began a song of their own - to regard his partner in the adventure. “What d’you mean?”

Juliet only pointed to the side of the room, where several children were being led away by what looked like a golden rabbit animatronic. On closer inspection, however, Scafe could just barely make out something between the joints of the suit - the sleeves and collar of a purple shirt.

“…Uh oh.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Brian and Tim’s relief, Patrick’s escape plan was genuine. They soon found themselves in a utilitarian but comfortable house, with a domed roof resembling Patrick’s rock home from his original series.

“So, now that we’re out of immediate danger, allow me to repeat my question.” Patrick leaned forward with interest. “Which part of this city are you two gentlemen from?

Brian scratched his head. “Uhh…we’re…not from around…here?” he ventured.

“Ah, I see.” Patrick looked up through the skylight on his ceiling, where the tunnel entrance was just barely visible in the sky. “So you came from elsewhere in the Nexus, did you?”

“You know of the rest of the Nexus?” Tim asked curiously.

“Certainly. Why else would there be a landmass hovering more-or-less directly overhead?”

“ _…Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Patrick Star?_ ” Zeus demanded.

Patrick stared at Zeus for three seconds before giving a jolly laugh. “Ahh, I see,” he chortled. “You’re obviously acquainted with my more…intellectually-challenged counterparts. I used to be much like them…but a fortunate incident with some Brain Coral allowed me to become the educated echinoderm I am today.”

“Brain Coral……hrrmm…” Brian wrinkled his nose as he reluctantly searched his memory for the _Spongebob Squarepants_ episode in question. “Oooh yeah, I remember now! ‘ _Patrick Smartpants_ ’…I actually liked that one. But…I thought that was a one-episode deal - didn’t you go back to normal when you stopped being able to relate to Shitbo- I mean, Spongebob?”

Patrick’s face fell. “Actually…I never saw my porous companion again,” he replied sadly. “While I was still acquainting myself with my newfound intelligence, I was engulfed by a strange light. The next thing I knew, I was here, with Bikini Bottom nowhere to be seen.”

Brian and Tim glanced at each other before the latter posed the question they’d both been wondering ever since they arrived. “What, exactly, _is_ here?” he asked.

Patrick sighed at that. “It’s actually quite simple, and equally sad… This world is an amalgamation of pieces somehow taken from all across the multiverse…‘world chunks’, if you will. It appears to transcend reality itself, but I’ve not yet been able to determine how this is possible. What I _do_ know, however, is that this particular chunk includes mostly toonish landscapes, and the fusion has been…unpleasant, to say the least. A strange energy pervades the essence of the land, warping everyone and everything into gibbering, unnatural pastiches of their old selves…or worse.”

“That’s…that’s horrifying.” It was a struggle for Brian not to vomit mid-sentence.

“It was difficult for all of us,” Patrick continued. “Most of us wanted to live in peace, despite the circumstances…but we soon learned that this…this _hellscape,_ for lack of a better word…is very much Darwinian in nature. To survive with our minds and bodies intact, we all seek the same thing: Future Seeds.”

“By ‘Future Seed’, I assume you mean the golden object you consumed earlier,” Tim said.

“Exactly.” Patrick smiled at Tim’s perception. “Those seeds represent…how do I put this?…the dreams of those who create worlds like ours. Each one contains ideas and hopes for future iterations of their world, making it the very antithesis of this place - unable to spread in the face of such horror, they instead contract until they actually take a physical form. By consuming the seeds, we can absorb their energy, forestalling our degradation - without them…” He grimaced. “Well, you’ve seen what most of the others have become.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Brian said. “So, you’re saying that this clusterfuck is basically Toontown meets Raccoon City, and the only way to avoid turning into a monster is to abort the _good_ cartoons?!”

Patrick wrinkled his nonexistent nose. “Well…that’s a bit cruder than I’d like, but that’s more or less our lives in a nutshell,” he said.

“ _I knew from the start that this world was fucked up, but that **redefines** the phrase!_” Zeus growled. “ _I mean, sure, you don’t wanna turn into one of those freaks, but you’re killing off other series just to stave off the inevitable! I mean, what happens when you run out of Future Seeds?_ ”

“I can’t speak for everyone, but that isn’t a concern for me.” Patrick walked over to a door and opened it to reveal piles of gold-glowing seeds. “I’ve developed an algorithm that allows me to predict with 99% certainty where and when the next seed will appear.”

“Impressive,” Tim nodded, “but you’re evading the question. What point is there to your existence if you waste it on collecting seeds to stave off the inevitable?”

Patrick opened his mouth to reply, only to pause when a quiet ding sounded in the other room. “Ah, that’d be the graham crackers,” he said. “May I interest you gentlemen in some S’mores? I find they work admirably when I need to make plans.”

“…Plans?” Brian asked. “What sort of plans?”

“Well, for helping your escape, of course!” Patrick winked as he pushed a button on the wall, causing a campfire to appear from beneath a floor panel. “I may be doomed, but I can certainly at least help you two avoid sharing the same fate…”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wheeee! This is fun!” Emily chirped, blood splattering on the boney blades currently replacing her arms.

“I must say, Ms. Emily,” Max said, “you’re about as giddy as a schoolgirl. Not something you’d normally see from a carnivorous zombie.”

“What can I say?” Emily giggled. “I get all fired up during a good workout!”

The duo’s advance into the fire-ravaged London had been quickly halted by an onslaught of black-clad Nazis, who they soon discovered were also vampires. Unfortunately for the Nazis, _they_ soon realized that even their supernatural abilities and ranged weapons were insufficient to stop Max and Emily - they had resorted to scattering through the streets of London and killing easier prey, which also caused the latter to reanimate as mindless ghouls.

“Hey Max, whatcha want to find for our mission?” Emily’s question was unhindered by the fact that she was kicking straight through a hapless ghoul’s head at the moment.

“Well, I say we should search for the closest valuable thing we can. No sense staying knee-deep in Nazi vampires and ghouls.” Max’s words were unhindered by the sweeping swings of his blade as he cut through the undead horde before him.

“Awww, but that’s boring!” Emily whined after prying herself off another ghoul. “I think it should be something valuable to these guys we’re killing a lot of! Maybe…one of their leaders’ heads?”

“…Well, the hat seems to be a sign of status, and perhaps you’d get more of a kick out of the squishy grey thing between their ears…” Max thought aloud before nodding to his partner. “Alright, I’m convinced. Time for a manhunt.”

“Oooooh! Hunts mean potential food!” Emily squeed at the thought. “I can’t eat these things - they’re all rotten and taste like stale tea!”

“Sweetie, please try to stay focused.” Athena added. “There will be time for meals AFTER we finish here.”

“Uugghh…Athena, I love ya and all, but sometimes you can be _such_ a killjoy.”

Max ignored the debate as he began formulating a plan. “We’ve already got them on the run,” he mused. “We need to ambush them somehow.”

“Ooh, I know!” Emily cried. “We need to find the high ground so we can cut off their limbs!”

“I _really_ hope you meant that in a metaphorical manner…but yes, let’s go with that plan.” Max responded. “Once we have a vantage point, I’ll lure out the freaks while you prepare the _decapitating_ strike…”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In addition to getting graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate, and skewers, Patrick also found a small folding table and a map of his twisted city. He, Brian, and Tim proceeded to alternate between making S’mores and poring over the map, trying to think of a way to reach the tunnels high above without being caught by the monsters outside.

“Alright, so…any ideas, Tim?” Brian asked in-between bites of his S’more.

“Me? Why are you asking me of all people?” Tim responded, eyebrow raised.

“Well I assumed that…well…you know…” Brian trailed off, an improbably large bead of sweat escaping him.

Tim groaned softly as he realized what his friend was implying. “Brian...a fancy set of clothes and an erudite demeanor does _not_ a genius make…” he said.

“ _Well then, you’re pretty much useless..._ ” Zeus muttered.

“Hey, no bad-mouthing the newbie!” Brian chided. “We’re here to make friends and save our sorry asses, remember?”

“ _Yeah, yeah, sorry._ ” Despite the offhand remark, Zeus’s tone was genuine. “ _I’m just more than a bit stressed out, what with us being trapped in Cartoon Hellworks and all…_ ”

“Trust me Zeus, I’m just as on edge as you are,” Brian muttered. “The Nexus is a real oddity…and I bet there’s just so much more to it than what we’re witnessing right now.”

“ _I sure hope so,_ ” Zeus growled. “ _This place is gonna haunt my nightmares for a while…_ ”

“I fear it will do more than that if we don’t escape,” Tim added even as he scrutinized the map. “Hmmm…wait. I think I may have an idea…what if we use the rooftops?”

“How so?” inquired Patrick.

“From what we’ve seen of this world, the majority of its mutated inhabitants appear ponderous and ground-bound - as such, keeping high ought to reduce the risk to ourselves and enable us to better reach the tunnels above,” Tim explained. “If nothing else, we’ll be better able to see them coming for us.”

“Great! …what does that _mean_ , exactly?” Brian’s question caused Zeus to take control of his free hand and slap his host in the face.

“ _You idiot!_ ” the Parasite roared. “ _It_ means _that we can get outta here more easily if we stick to the rooftops!_ ”

“Oooohhhhhh…” Brian groaned in equal parts pain and comprehension. “Welp, sounds good to me!”

“Well then, it’s settled.” Tim nodded before looking at Patrick. “I wouldn’t wish to put you in any further trouble, good sir. If you could just point us in the direction of the nearest tunnel exit…”

“……Ah…right. Of course,” the starfish muttered distractedly, glancing back at the closet full of Future Seeds.

“You alright, sir?” Tim asked. “You seem…distant.”

“It’s nothing…nothing at all.” After a vigorous head shake, Patrick regained his usual cheery demeanor. “All right then, let’s get you gentlemen set out!”

Despite himself, Brian gave his host a thumbs-up. “Y’know, it’s funny. We’re in the black underbelly of western animation, and yet you’re the _best_ Patrick I’ve seen in god knows how long.”

Tim chuckled. “As you’ve said before…every turd has its golden seed.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eli and Becky waited until Smaug chased the other intruder out of the hall before climbing down from their perch and diving into the treasure around them. With the sheer size of the hoard, finding valuable objects was easy - finding one that both of them loved, however, was not.

“Hmm…how about this one?” Becky asked, holding up a large ruby for Eli’s inspection. The chinchilla scrutinized the gem for a moment before shaking his head.

“Naaah. It kinda reminds me of Scafe’s eyes…which would make things _extremely_ awkward if I gave it to him. Hang onto it, though - he’ll think it’s cool coming from you.” Eli dug through his part of the treasure hoard before coming up with a rugged metal crown. “Ooh, this looks pretty badass - whaddya think, Bex?” He put the crown on his head and struck an exaggerated pose, eliciting a giggle from the red-haired cryomancer when she saw how badly the dull metal clashed with his colorful hair.

“ _Very_ imposing, but it’s too… _blah,_ ” Becky said. “I want to find something that really makes the gang’s eyes pop!”

Eli sighed and put the crown back in the pile. “Frankly, I’d bet they’ll be amazed enough when we tell ‘em where we were,” he said, using his staff to dig through the endless sea of gold and gems.

“Oh, Scafe is gonna be _so_ jealous,” Becky snickered. “Wait’ll he finds out that I saw Smaug in all his scaly glory…”

“If we’re lucky, I _won’t_ have to say we saw that.” Eli cringed as another distant roar shook the hall, but the movement also drew his attention to something promising. “Hey, Bex…how d’you feel about bedazzled swords?” He held up a large claymore with gold and tiny diamonds embedded in the hilt and blade.

Had Becky been any more impressed, she’d be outright drooling.“…It’s like you just dug into my fantasies, picked out the good parts, and made them into a fruit smoothie of pure _awesome~!_ ” she exclaimed.

Eli smirked. “Sounds like we’ve found our treasure,” he said. “Let’s get it outta here before-” He froze at the unmistakable sound of something very large smashing through a nearby wall. “Aww hell, here comes the pain!” He cringed as Smaug charged back into the hall, but no attack came. Instead, the roaring dragon smashed through the opposite wall, apparently still pursuing another target. 

“Whew…that was _too_ fucking close.” The chinchilla sighed in relief before turning to Becky, sword in hand. “Ready to get the hell outta here?” he asked.

“You bet!” Becky answered. “…Buuut I think we have a tiny problem.” She pointed to a massive pile of rocks blocking the entrance to the tunnel they had used to reach this place. “I dunno if we can get through that.”

Eli facepalmed at the sight. “Ugh. Why must life constantly make already bad situations even _worse…?_ ” He dug through the treasure pile until he found a scabbard large enough to put the sword into, which he slung over his back. “Well, only one thing for it, I guess - we gotta find another way outta here.”

Becky frowned as she looked around the room, which still shook slightly with the echoes of Smaug’s distant roars. “…Maybe not,” she mused.

Eli quirked an eyebrow at the small smile forming on Becky’s lips. “You got a plan?” he asked.

“I think I do. Just bear with me here, ‘cause it might sound kinda crazy...”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Tim had hoped, the rooftops were proving quite useful for evading the mutated denizens of what Zeus had taken to calling “Cartoon Hellworks”. So far, the duo had only encountered one abomination - an orange-skinned beast resembling a cross between a centipede, a wolf, and a light battlecruiser - and their spirits were beginning to lift. However, something continued to nag on Brian’s mind: Patrick, who had simply waved them off after taking them to the roof of his house, claiming he “had things to do”.

Eventually, he had to say something. “Tim…am I the only one feeling like Patrick was a little too... _trusting?_ ” he asked.

Tim raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“I dunno…he just seems so willing to help us…especially after we basically called him out on the whole ‘eating Future Seeds’ deal.” Brian shrugged. “I mean, sure it’s bad from our perspective, but if you think about it from his POV-”

“ _Good god...are you actually feeling_ sorry _for that sap?_ ” Zeus asked incredulously. “ _It’s not like we’ll ever see him or this stupid place aga- Whoa!_ ” He cut himself off when Brian and Tim spotted a familiar figure waiting for them on the next rooftop - Patrick himself, carrying a small bag.

“What the fu- Patrick??” Brian called out. “What’re you doing up here?”

The starfish took a moment to reply, as he appeared quite fatigued. “Ah…ha…ha… Hello, friends! I…was hoping…to catch you…here!”

“What’s going on? What are you doing here?” Tim asked.

Patrick rubbed the back of his head as he caught his breath. “Well…back at my home, I couldn’t help but overhear you saying that you were looking for a ‘treasure’ of some sort?”

“Yeeeaa…that’s right…” Brian said, eyes slowly set to a squint. “I don’t think we’ll find anything here, though…no offense.”

“Actually…I can think of one thing you could take with you.” Patrick held out the bag and opened it with his free hand. Tim and Brian’s eyes widened when they glimpsed several familiar golden objects piled inside.

“A…are those…?” Tim stammered.

“Indeed they are,” Patrick replied. “My entire stock of Future Seeds - and a free Bag of Holding as a bonus! They’re all yours, free of charge.”

“ _…Alright, what gives?_ ” Zeus demanded. “ _Don’t you need these things to avoid turning into a monster?_ ”

“Yeah, what's going on here?” Brian finally asked. “You’ve been munching on seeds for a long-ass time - Why the sudden change of heart?”

Patrick’s face fell. “I never really _enjoyed_ consuming Future Seeds, knowing that I was condemning other worlds to premature endings, but I was always able to rationalize it as doing what I needed to survive in this horrible world,” he said. “However, after discussing it with you, I realized that you’re right - all I’m really doing is sacrificing others to delay the end. Even if I can keep collecting seeds…it’s only a matter of time before I draw the attention of…those less fortunate.”

On cue, a distant, distorted howl pierced the air. Tim and Brian cringed, but Patrick only sighed.

“Ah, _lovely,_ ” he said drily. “The scent of so many seeds has drawn said unfortunate ones over here.”

“Ooh, shit!! How many we talking??” Brian asked in panic.

“At a cursory glance…I would estimate at _least_ thirty,” Tim said grimly.

“ _Then we better, as you mortals say, get going while the getting is good._ ” Zeus said.

Tim nodded as he took the bag from Patrick. “Your contribution is much appreciated, Mr. Star,” he said. “Best of luck replenishing your stock of-”

“I’ll have to stop you there,” Patrick interrupted. “You see…there’s one more seed I’d like to give you…but I need your help to retrieve it.” He patted his own stomach as he spoke.

Tim and Brian’s eyes widened as they understood Patrick’s meaning. “ _Whoa, hang on!_ ” said Zeus. “ _Are you…_ asking _us to kill you to extract a Future Seed?!_ ”

“Precisely.” There was no irony or uncertainty in the starfish’s reply.

“Are…are you sure about this?” Brian asked.

“It’s as you said, my friend,” Patrick replied. “This mutilated fragment of a world has no future…and these seeds deserve better than to be a means of staving off the inevitable. They’re better off in your hands…and to be honest, I’d much rather expire as I am rather than degrade into one of…well… _them_.” He gestured to the cesspool of forgotten abominations clamoring below.

Brian and Tim exchanged looks and a shrug before nodding in agreement. “Very well, Mr. Star,” Tim said. “Your sacrifice is much appreciated.”

“It’s nothing, really.” Patrick smiled and closed his eyes. “Just try and make this quic- **AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!!** ” He yelled in pain as Brian’s spider legs buried themselves in his gut.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby. Stomach walls grow back!” Brian’s crazed smile betrayed his insincerity as he pulled his legs in opposite directions, slowly tearing open a hole in Patrick’s body. Once the hole was big enough to expose the starfish’s most recent meal, Tim tapped his stopwatch on Patrick’s forehead, freezing him in time.

“Nothing personal, my one-time friend,” he said cheerfully. “But the Sergeant disagrees.”

“A-fucking-men.” Brian’s grin widened as he reached into Patrick’s gut and ripped the Future Seed out. He then reached for his pencil, but glanced at Tim. “Question; if someone’s frozen in time, can you still rip them apart without messing up the time freeze?”

“Dare I ask why you need to know?” Despite his words, Tim’s own smile remained undimmed as Brian drew a giant grenade and shoved it in Patrick’s eviscerated stomach.

“Just wondering…” With that, Brian pulled the pin of the grenade and pushed Patrick off the side of the building, into the crowd of mutated cartoon characters below. “Alright, _now_ we can go,” he said.

With a satisfied smirk, Brian ran off, leaving Patrick to the beasts. Tim followed, taking the skies to watch the grenade detonate, destroying Patrick and most of the mutated cartoon creatures. The well-dressed pegasus gave a wry salute towards the explosion.

“Godspeed Patrick Star, you oddly erudite back-mouthed starfish,” he said. “Godspeed…”

“Come on, Tim!” Brian shouted. “We’ll mourn his loss AFTER we make it out of here safely.”

The pegasus-man nodded before flying after Brian, seeking an exit from the world chunk before further misfortune could find them.

**-THE SOCIETY WILL RETURN-**


	3. Make Damn Sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now to escape and meet up with the others.

****

# Tales of the Society - The Azure Age

****

## Chapter 3.3: Make Damn Sure

****

_**Last time on Tales of the Society...** _

_The Society’s adventures in the Nexus Underground continued, growing more complicated by the second. Scafe and Juliet have stumbled upon the beginnings of an all-too-familiar crime at Freddy’s pizzeria, Emily and Max must contend with a literal army of Nazis, Eli and Becky must escape the Lonely Mountain before its draconic tenant finds them, and Brian and Tim are dealing with what is, in essence, a Zombie Toon Apocalypse._

_The group’s final objective is to escape and meet back up at home with their chosen treasures, which is a difficult task in itself. However, their current situation may have blinded them to the overarching threat of the Azure Initiative; and how_ did _the villains discover that their enemies weren’t as dead as they thought?_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The chaos in London was growing worse by the minute. The Nazi vampires had met heavy resistance elsewhere in the city, leaving Emily and Max to set up their ambush in relative peace. At the moment, Emily was clinging to the side of a building with bone spikes from her arms and legs; Max had told her to stay there and wait for his signal. That had been several minutes ago, and Emily was beginning to get antsy.

“Athenaaaa,” she whined. “This is _really_ uncomfortable!”

“I know, sweetie, but try to hold out for a bit longer.” Athena replied. “We may only get one opportunity to try this plan.”

Emily shifted agitatedly. “But my arms are sore, my feet are aching, and my stomach is rumbling! Are you _sure_ Max isn’t just buying us some sandwiches or something right now?”

“Miss Emily, remember the purpose of our excursion,” said Athena. “We have to learn to trust our comrade if we are to truly become part of the Crimson Society.”

“I know, I know,” Emily sighed. “I just _reeeeally_ hope this plan works…or I’m gonna have to bite Max where the sun don’t shine! …Which is kinda _everywhere_ for him, now that I think about it…y’know, ‘cause he wears that mask-bandage combo on his head.” Her mood began to brighten as something else occurred to her. “Hey, Athena, how come _we _never had a mask? I think we’d look really awesome with a mask…or maybe some kind of bandana thingy…or maybe a…”__

__Athena sighed to herself, torn between amusement and relief as her host rambled on. “ Well, that should keep us occupied for a wh-”_ _

__A sudden commotion brought the duo’s attention to the end of the street. In an explosion of fiery debris, Max leaped through a building and began sprinting down the street, with a group of vampires in hot pursuit._ _

__“Get zhat _schwienhund,_ you fools!” The apparent leader of the group shouted furious orders to his men, who all looked rather worse for the wear - clearly, Max had done quite some damage to get their attention._ _

__“Hmph. I’ll give ‘em this. They are quite persistent...” Despite his pace, Max wasn’t even out of breath as he approached Emily’s hiding spot. “You nocturnal Nazis couldn’t hit the broad side of an elephant burger!” he cried._ _

__“Ooh! That’s our cue!” Emily gasped. “You ready, Athena?”_ _

__“ As ever, Miss Emily,” Athena replied. “The time to strike is...now!”_ _

__With that, Emily pushed off of the building wall, sending herself hurtling towards the Nazis. As she began to descend, Athena caused a pair of long tentacles to burst out of her host’s palms, crackling with crimson electricity. The tentacles wrapped around Emily’s hands before whipping towards the lead Nazi, seizing him by the shoulders before yanking him into the air._ _

__“Wheeeee! Here comes the pain!” Emily shouted as she spun around in midair, slamming her captive into his troops. On contact with the ground, the tentacles released a massive burst of red electricity, stunning the Nazis on the spot as Emily gracefully landed on the leader’s back._ _

__“Excellent work, Emily!” said Max as he turned around and ran back to his friend’s side. “Now it’s my turn…” He stabbed his sword into the ground, simultaneously decapitating the leader of the vampires and causing a ring of large rocks to erupt around them. The other Nazis yelped as they were thrown into the air - Emily, however, smirked as she morphed one arm into a wicked-looking sickle made of bone._ _

__“Been awhile since I went to the carnival,” she said. “But I betcha I’ve still got a better throwing _arm_ , Max~”_ _

__The masked bear only grinned as he raised his sword, causing it to blaze gold. “Perhaps…but let’s _cut to the chase_.”_ _

__In perfect sync, the duo attacked the airborne Nazis. Emily threw the sickle on her arm at one side, cutting through the vampires like a hot knife through butter. Meanwhile, Max swung his sword downwards, sending a massive golden wave of energy to obliterate the center of the group. As the assassin raised his sword from the ground, Emily’s sickle came flying back, tearing apart the remaining enemies before returning to her arm as she bounced in glee._ _

__“Woohoo!” she cried. “That was so cool! And we got an awesome trophy, too!” She stooped to pick up the commander’s severed head before glancing at the associated body. “Hey Max…ya think anyone would notice if I grabbed some bits here and there for a snack later?”_ _

__Max was sorely tempted to ask why Emily was so hungry all the time, but he decided against it - especially since the whine of military helicopters was beginning to fill the air. “I don’t think we have time for that,” he said, taking a moment to grab the medals and armband from the commander’s coat. “We have our ‘treasure’, so we should leave before this situation gets any hotter.”_ _

__“ Agreed.” Athena responded as the hum of rotors was drowned out by the sound of heavy machine gun fire. “Let us leave as quickly as possible!”_ _

__Emily nodded “‘Bout time - all this fighting is making me hungry!” Her gaze went back to the airship still floating overhead. “And I think I see a shortcut~ Quick, Max, grab my hand and gimme a boost!” She offered her left hand to Max as her right transformed into a vein-like appendage tipped with a spiky mass of rocks._ _

__“Uh…okay.” Despite his confusion, Max stabbed his sword into the ground, creating a rock pillar to propel Emily and himself into the air. He then grabbed his weapon and Emily’s hand as the Hostilized goat raised her makeshift flail._ _

__“Check this out, Max! It’s a real _gripping_ story~!” Emily giggled at the joke before lashing her flail at the zeppelin, the tendril extending impressive lengths to bury the rock ball at its tip into the armored hull of the airship. With her grip secure, Emily let gravity take over, swinging her and Max under the zeppelin at frightening speed._ _

__“WHOOOOOAAAA!!!” yelled Max. “ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING?!”_ _

__“AHAHAHAHA……NOPE~!” Emily’s joyful expression was a sharp contrast to Max’s dismay._ _

__“…I’m pouring myself a tall cup of tea when this is over.” A bead of sweat inexplicably appeared on the assassin’s mask._ _

__“Ooh, I like tea!” Emily said. “Pour me some too after we do _this_!” She suddenly retracted her flail, sending her and Max flying just before a barrage of missiles hit the airship. Luckily, the duo landed in the Thames River, leaving them mostly unharmed._ _

__“Ugh… Well…” Max groaned as he and Emily floated to shore. “I was _not_ expecting that to work, but that was otherwise an excellent strategy, Emily.”_ _

__“Thanks! …I think.” Emily smiled at her superior before looking around and spotting a familiar opening. “Hey, we even landed near the tunnel!” she cried. “Now we can get outta here!”_ _

__“Excellent,” said Max. “Do you have our ‘souvenir’, Emily?”_ _

__“Yeppers!” the goat-zombie replied, shaking some excess water off the Nazi vampire’s head. “Let’s get going before we miss lunch!”_ _

__With a nod of acknowledgement, Max led Emily into the tunnel. The path was similar to when they had entered, but there was a surprise at the end; when the pair emerged from the tunnel, they found themselves on a hill overlooking Eukora Town._ _

__“…Uhh, Max? Wasn’t our HQ over here before?” Emily asked._ _

__“It seems that the Underground is more unpredictable than we thought,” Max mused, checking his watch. “The tunnels themselves must shift over time - a mere half-hour underground, and the same path moves between destinations several miles apart.”_ _

__“Cool, but…” Emily waved a hand towards the city below. “How do we get home from here?”_ _

__Max shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine…” He snapped his fingers as he suddenly remembered something. “Wait. I think Brian said that he set a Warp Pad back to the HQ somewhere around here. It should be somewhere in the outskirts of the town - let’s go.”_ _

__Emily chirped happily as she followed Max down the hill and into the town. Unbeknownst to either of them, their emergence had not gone unnoticed; a familiar cyborg Zoroark had seen them from his perch atop a building. His initial impression was too fuzzy to make a solid guess, but the pair’s descent into the city confirmed his suspicions._ _

___…So, the assassin lives. And if he is accompanied by the hybrid’s mate, then…this bodes ill for us. I must report this back to Lord Weiss._ _ _

__Quantum’s eyes flashed as he committed the sight before him to memory. When the upload was complete, he raised his mechanical arm and vanished in a flash of holographic pixels._ _

__\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _

__The moment he reappeared in the Azure Initiative’s base, Quantum broke into an uncharacteristically hasty stride, heading straight for Weiss’s office. As a result, he almost bumped right into Saturn as she rounded a corner - only their respective reflexes prevented a full collision._ _

__“Whoa there!” Saturn’s voice was barely audible over the buzzing of her surprised wasps. “You’re walking like you’ve got a bug in your hard drive - what’s the hurry, Quantum?”_ _

__“I require an audience with Lord Weiss,” Quantum responded, his voice no less calm for his exertions. “Do you know where I might find him?”_ _

__“Well, I saw him outside with Amethyst.” Saturn answered. “I wouldn’t bother him if I were you. You know how Weiss gets when you interrupt his personal time with the missus…” She sighed to herself, looking somewhere between envy and wistful longing. “…Amy is so lucky… Oh, how I wish to just be like her…wrapping the man I love in my arms, feeling his nice…strong…cool…and muscular-”_ _

__“Ms. Saturn, I do not wish to interrupt your fantasies of holding Tsuneo,” Quantum interrupted dryly. “But this is of the utmost urgency - I have acquired disturbing new data.”_ _

__Saturn quirked a wasp-formed eyebrow at that, but shrugged as Quantum strode past her. _I sure hope this isn’t another of Sylvie’s “recruitment posters”,_ she thought. _Last thing the boss needs is_ another _nausea-induced concussion…__ _

__Meanwhile, Weiss was outside, sitting with Amethyst as they stared off in the moonlit sky, having a couple of drinks as they talked about their future plans. “Just think about it, babe; we’ll have that fucker Tsuneo groveling at our feet when everything is set into place.” Weiss gloated, pouring Amethyst a glass of white wine. “And then we’ll make the Azure Initiative _ten times_ bigger than what the Crimson Cunts ever were - hell, we’ll be bigger than N.E.D.’s so-called ‘empire!’ And every last loser on the Nexus will finally know their place - at our feet!” He took a swig of whiskey from his own glass as he spoke._ _

__Amethyst giggled as she sipped her wine. “Oooh, Weiss. I’m just as excited as you are,” she purred. “Finally, we can live in a world without rules to bring us down; nobody’s gonna tell us what to do anymore~ Won’t be long now before Tsuneo is captured. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees what’s happened in his absence…”_ _

__“Hahaha, yeah!” Weiss cheered. “Okay…so…I had this idea for how to utterly ruin him; we kill him…and then we have sex right on top of his corpse! How’s that for rubbing salt in the wound?”_ _

__“Mmmm…naaah.” Amethyst shook her head. “Let’s just cut out the middleman and hand him over to Saturn. Whatever she does to him is fair game~ By the end of it, I’ll bet the so-called NeverDead will _wish_ he could die!”_ _

__Once again, Weiss found himself taken aback by his girlfriend’s sadism. “…Wow… Babe, I fucking _love_ you right now…” he said. “It’ll probably get Purgatory’s chastity belt in a knot, though.”_ _

__“Like I care,” Amethyst scoffed. “Never really liked that girl - if she was any more of a prick, I could use her to pop a balloon.”_ _

__Weiss cocked his head in interest. “Yeah, what’s with that bad blood between you two?” he asked._ _

__“It’s a long story, but see it all started with-” Unfortunately, Amethyst’s reminiscing was cut short when Quantum entered the scene._ _

__“My Lord. Please forgive me for interrupting your evening with Ms. Hart.”_ _

__“…One second babe.” Weiss said quietly, standing up and approaching Quantum. “Boy…you better have a _damn_ good reason to be interrupting my time with-_ _

__“The Crimson Society is not dead.” Quantum interrupted bluntly. “They appear to be rebuilding their strength in-”_ _

__Weiss silenced the Zoroark with a raised hand as he digested this information. After a moment, he lowered his shades to look Quantum in the eye…and burst out laughing._ _

__“…Ha……haha…hahahaha…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Weiss laughed for several seconds before regaining enough composure to form coherent sentences. “W-Wow. Really? Is that your idea of a joke? Hahaha… _wow,_ Quantum. That was a pretty convincing one, I admit - didn’t think you had a humor program - but seriously-_ _

__“I am _not_ joking, Lord Weiss.” Quantum’s eyes flashed as cyber energy built up in his mechanical claw. “I have visual proof that Max, at least, still functions.” He raised his claw, displaying a holographic image taken from his memory banks; Max and Emily running down the hill. “A lack of signals on my internal geiger counter indicates that he isn’t irradiated from the Cobalt Bomb - based on that, it is prudent to assume that he and his fellow Councilmen survived our assault on their HQ.”_ _

__It was at that moment where Weiss’s world came crashing down around him. He was so stunned that his sunglasses fell off his face, revealing his blazing blue eyes._ _

__“……ffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFF _FFFFFFFFFF **FFFFFFFFFFFFFF**_ …”_ _

__Quantum stared impassively at Weiss’s building fury. “…Miss Hart…I _strongly_ recommend that we head inside. Immediately.” He beckoned Amethyst towards the door of the base as the sky began to darken._ _

__“Well, so much for our peaceful night…” Amethyst sighed ruefully before following Quantum indoors. Storm clouds formed overhead, the rumble of thunder matching the aura of lightning gathering around Weiss. His hands clenched into fists as sparks of electricity crackled around his fingers. Finally, the dam broke, and Weiss let out a literally-thunderous roar that shook the world and the heavens._ _

__“… **FFFFFFFF _FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!_** ” The curse was punctuated by a wave of lightning erupting from Weiss’s body, shorting out power for a good mile or two. Luckily for the Initiative, their base was insulated specifically to protect its systems from such an outburst._ _

__“Holy latex-clad _hell_ ,” Amethyst’s voice was barely a breath as the other Initiative members responded to the racket._ _

__“W…what…the hell was…that?” 1:30 asked quietly._ _

__“The boundless wrath of our leader…” Purgatory replied stoically._ _

__“WHOOOOOOOO!!! THAT IS SO **METAAAAAAALLL!!!** ” Marcell threw up the horns for emphasis as he burst out of his room._ _

__“What in the name of the Elements of Harmony got Weiss so furious?!” Sylvie asked, adjusting her _My Little Pony_ pajamas as she walked out of her own room._ _

__“…He appears to be taking it… _better_ than I anticipated.” Quantum’s usual monotone made it impossible to tell if he was kidding as the rest of the Initiative gathered around the door._ _

__“Taking _what_ better than you anticipated?” Purgatory asked, turning her head towards the cyborg Zoroark._ _

__“My friends…we have a problem.” Quantum paused for a moment before dropping the bombshell. “The Councilmen…are still alive.”_ _

__“WHAT?!” Sylvie all but bounded down the stairs to gawk at Quantum. “B-b-but we _saw_ their place get blown sky-high! Th-that’s…impossible!”_ _

__“THE IMPOSSIBLE JUST BEEN MADE POSSIBLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE! YEEAAAHH!!” Marcell cackled as he slid down the railing of the stairs. He prepared to follow up with a dramatic strum of his guitar, only to falter at the hostile looks sent his way from his allies. “....SOOORRRYYYY! TOO SOON?”_ _

__“ _Yes,_ it's too soon, you idiot!” Amethyst shouted. “Ugh! I can’t believe this! How the fuck did they survive the Cobalt Bomb explosion?! The plans said it should have left the entirety of Iridu City dead! How’d they survive at a fucking _cliff!?_ ”_ _

__“Ugh…I guess that dumbass brother of mine had a point…” Everyone turned and stepped back a few feet as Weiss stalked back into the base. His fists were still sparking with residual electricity, and his chest was heaving from the remnants of his violent outburst, but he wore a rueful, mirthless smile on his face as he replaced his shades on his nose. “Those Crimson Council midgesuckers _do_ have more than their fair share of luck after all.”_ _

__Sensing that the brunt of Weiss’s fury was spent, Quantum stepped forward to drop the other shoe. “I apologize, Lord Weiss, but the situation may be even worse than you know.” He brought up the image of Max and Emily once again, expanding it so everyone could see it._ _

__“So…Brian’s gal-pal is with the Society now?” Weiss’s eyes narrowed as he considered the implications of the sight. “Either Brian really _is_ dead and Max is picking her up on the rebound…or the Council’s trying to compensate for something - namely, _me!_ ”_ _

__“Indeed,” Quantum said. “Based on this new data, I would hypothesize that the Councilmen are recruiting new members as the beginning of another rebuilding attempt. And, considering the outcomes of our…interactions…” He paused to glance at everyone in turn. “…it stands to reason that they will be far more discerning in who they invite to their group - all future applicants will likely be either those loyal to the Council or those with a grudge against us.”_ _

__“Ugh…well, that’s just fucking _brilliant,_ ” Amethyst groaned. “So not only are they still alive, but now the Councilmen are gonna gather _more_ fucking killjoys around them.”_ _

__“And given what we did to their base - as well as our past history - I doubt that they will be content to let us live in peace,” Purgatory added. “It is all but certain that they will seek us out in the name of vengeance.”_ _

__“OH _SHIIIIT!_ WHAT WE GONNA DO NOW, BRUDDAHS???” Marcell screamed._ _

__“I say…we hunt them down…AND KILL THEM WITH OUR **BARE HANDS!** ” 1:30 roared. “AND THIS TIME… _THIS TIME!_ WE’LL MAKE **DAMN SURE** THEY DIIIIIIE!!!”_ _

__“YEEEEEAAAAAAAH!!!” Marcell shrieked back. “I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, 1:30!!!!”_ _

__“And I _hate_ the fact that we let them both in the same room,” Saturn muttered, her wasps crawling into her ears. _ _

__“ **Marcell! 1:30!** Shut the fuck _up_ for 10 seconds!” Weiss yelled, rubbing his forehead. “Look…as much as I _really_ want to take up on your idea, ‘30…that would be too obvious. They know we’re out for their asses, so they’ll be expecting another all-out assault…and we don’t know how many people they’ve got on their side now.”_ _

__“But Weiss, look how many of us are here,” Amethyst interjected. “We can overwhelm them!”_ _

__“Probably,” Weiss replied, “but they’re not gonna make the same mistakes they did last time. They’ll be reading our files like mad, looking up everything they’ve got on our moves and weaknesses - and I’d bet my left nut that their new base isn’t half as vulnerable as the old one was. As much as I hate to say it…they’ll be ready for us this time, so we need to find some new tricks of our own!”_ _

__“So what? You're saying we should just sit here and let them rebuild??” Sylvie said, waving her arms in the air before crossing them with her best pout. “That stinks more than Pinkie Pie’s Baked Bads!”_ _

__“Calm yourself, Sylvie,” Purgatory admonished. “What Lord Weiss means is that we need to develop our own skills and resources to match whatever forces the Society has mustered. The Lord rewards his servants best if they prove their willingness to grasp fate with their own hands.”_ _

__“Exactly! …I think,” Weiss said. “But I’m not just gonna put us through our paces to make us even _more_ badass… I think we’re gonna give the Society something else to worry about besides preparing for Round 2 with us.”_ _

__“BADASS MISTAH WEISS! I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOOOOOU-OUU!!” Marcell screamed._ _

__Weiss sighed as he waited for the ringing in his ears to stop. “Ugh…what is it?” he groaned._ _

__“YOU KNOW HOW N.E.D.’S GOT AN ARMY OF HIS OWN? WELL, WHAT THE FLIPPING CANNIBAL CORPSE _FUCK_ ARE WE GONNA DO TO COMPENSATE FOR THAT?!”_ _

__Sylvie giggled at that. “Funny you should mention that, Marcy…I’ve finally worked out the kinks in my master plan, and I can guarantee that we’ll be having more backup than we can handle sooner than you can compliment Fancypants’ fantastic mustache!”_ _

__Amazingly, Marcell was silent for about five seconds before returning to his normal self. “…I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL YOU JUST SAAAAAIIIID!!!” he bellowed._ _

__“…Of _course_ you don’t…” Sylvie sighed. “You…just leave the thinking to us and focus on playing your stupid banjo, ‘kay?”_ _

__“Hey. Hey! _Hey!_ ” Marcell’s next shout was at a fraction of his normal volume. “It’s a **guitar,** you tiny shrimp dick.”_ _

__“Oh, and you just proved my point,” Sylvie sniped back. “I don’t even _have_ a-”_ _

__Both of the bickering Initiative members were cut off by a small bolt of lightning that shot between them. Weiss waited a moment to enjoy the newfound silence before lowering his hand and clearing his throat._ _

__“Now that we’ve _finally_ shut up the peanut gallery…allow me to explain just what we’re gonna do.” He walked past his allies and went up the first few stairs on the staircase to gain some height. “Most of us are gonna train our asses off to beat the Society…but some of us need to focus on keeping them harried and off-balance!” He punched a fist into his open palm. “They’ll be so busy thinking we’re trying to take over the Nexus, they won’t realize that our new priority is putting them six _miles_ under!”_ _

__“An ingenious strategy,” Quantum began, “but would it not be more prudent to seek aid from your brother? The Neo-Empire’s resources would-”_ _

__“Yeah, _no_ ,” Weiss interrupted. “The last thing I need is to look like a little bitch in front of my older brother. I don’t need him and his dinky army - we’ll be fine by ourselves.”_ _

__Quantum looked unconvinced, but any further argument was lost amid another scream of electric guitar chords. “YEEEEAAAAAAH!!! WE’LL ROCK THE SOCIETY SHITLORDS STRAIGHT TO THE **GRAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!** ” Marcell howled over the cacophony of his guitar._ _

__Weiss gritted his teeth as he felt his eardrums throb, but he somehow mastered his growing fury and adopted an encouraging tone. “Now… _that_ is the attitude we need to get shit _done_ around here,” he said. “In fact…y’know what? I think you’ve proven yourself the perfect man for the job of showing the Society that we’re not gonna take their second coming lying down!”_ _

__“Lord Weiss!” Saturn said incredulously. “You’re not saying what we think you’re saying, are you?”_ _

__“Oh, I damn well am!” Weiss descended the steps and clapped a hand on Marcell’s shoulder. “Marcell, I want _you_ to be the first one to strike against the new-and-still-doomed Crimson Society! Whaddya say?” He backed away a few steps while signalling Quantum to throw up a sound-negating barrier around everyone._ _

__“In the words of the great Steven Tyler himself…” Marcell’s voice dropped uncharacteristically low before regaining his heavy metal composure. “ ** _YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!_ I’LL KICK THEIR ASSES CLEAR OUTTA THIS _UNIVERSE_ FOR KICKING ME OUT AND BUSTING MY OLD AXE!!!**” He proceeded to launch into a combination of a wild guitar solo and a litany of increasingly-creative and violent promises of all the horrible things he’d do to his enemies - fortunately, none of the other Initiative members heard it from the safety of Quantum’s barrier._ _

__“…My lord, you…you _can’t_ be serious…” Behind the audio-dampening field, Purgatory made no attempt to hide her disbelief at the idea. “This monumental task cannot be trusted to such a raucous fool!”_ _

__“I know…and I’m _counting_ on that.” Weiss’s signature evil smirk was back in place. “He’ll probably fuck this up, but at least we’ll be rid of his max-volume attempts at music. And, to be honest…I think he _might_ just have a shot at screwing over the Society shitheads before he goes, too.” He glanced at Amethyst. “You DID finish your… _custom project_ …for ol’ Loudmouth Lizard, right?”_ _

__“Really, Weissy, I’m _shocked._ ” Amethyst’s hurt look was betrayed by her snicker. “When’s the last time I’ve let you down? It’s been built to his - and _your_ \- exact specifications.”_ _

__“Heh…as I expected.” Weiss cupped the cyborg goat-woman’s cheek with an almost-warm grin. “Your mind’s as sharp as your body is hot, Amy~”_ _

__Sylvie stuck out her tongue in disgust. “Ugh…get a fucking _room…_ ” she muttered._ _

__Weiss scowled at his diminutive subordinate, but chose not to respond as he noticed Marcell finally calming down. Quantum dropped his barrier in time for Weiss to stride forward, arms crossed and a false look of approval on his face._ _

__“Alright then. All in favor of letting Marcell kick some Society ass?” He glanced back at the others, who recognized their cues and raised their hands with various sounds of approval. “Looks like we’re all in agreement, then - they’re all yours, my man. Make us proud… or die trying,” he added under his breath._ _

__“YOU GOT IT WEISS! IMMA GET READY RIGHT FUCKING **NOOOOOOWWW!!!** ” With a final echoing scream, Marcell turned on his heel and ran off to make his preparations. As a result, he missed the looks of dark eagerness on the rest of the Initiative’s faces - unbeknownst to Marcell, they were hoping that this was a fight that _neither_ side would survive…_ _

__

__**-THE SOCIETY WILL RETURN-** _ _


	4. It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins.

****

# Tales of the Society - The Azure Age

****

## Chapter 3.4: It Begins

****

_**Last time on Tales of the Society...** _

_After a pitched battle with vampire Nazis, Emily and Max finally escaped the besieged London and returned to the surface. Unfortunately, they ended up drawing the attention of the Azure Initiative, tipping them off to the continued survival of the Society. With their enemy still active, the Initiative’s manhunt for Tsuneo has been put on hold in favor of destroying the Society once and for all, and Marcell is making plans to strike first._

_Meanwhile, the rest of the Society has yet to emerge from their own excursions. Will any more of our heroes emerge in time to meet the renewed threat of the Azure Initiative?_

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After a few minutes of searching, Max and Emily found the Warp Pad that brought them back to the Crimson Society HQ. Upon arrival, Max immediately let out a sigh of relief - Emily, however, seemed as peppy as always.

“Whooo!!” she cheered. “It's good to be home in a less weird area!”

Despite himself, Max couldn’t help but chuckle. “Heh…you really are quite a firecracker, Emily.”

“No I’m not!” Emily exclaimed. “I’m a goat-Hostile-mutant-thingy…wait, is that a metaphor?”

“Yes it is, sweetie,” Athena said.

“Ooooohh… Well in that case, thanks Maxi~”

Max made an offhand gesture as he looked around. “Well, it seems that we might be the first ones back,” he said. “I’ll stay here and keep a lookout for the others. Emily, you can go get something to eat-”

“Alriiiight! I am SO there!” Emily ran for the door, only to skid to a stop as one last thought occurred to her. “I’ll make snacks for everyone else while I’m in the kitchen - if ya need some help, just holler…or use that P.A. thingy, I guess~”

With a final energetic wave, Emily ran off, leaving Max alone in the teleporter room. The masked assassin took a moment to gather himself before sitting in one of the chairs around the room, digging through the nearby drawers and shelves.

“Now…where did Brian put the instruction manual for the scanning tech?” he muttered to himself. “I need to look as far as we can to be ready for when the others get…here?”

The words had barely left Max’s mouth when the teleporter hummed to life behind him. He turned around just in time to see Scafe and Juliet appear in a flash of light - they both looked disheveled, but the latter was irritated, while the former looked utterly despondent.

“Welcome back,” Max said. “Emily and I just barely beat you here - how did…your…trip…go?” He trailed off as the pair before him exchanged nasty glances. “I…take that to mean it didn’t go well?” he asked semi-rhetorically.

Juliet and Scafe glared at each other for a moment more before looking back at Max as they both sat down. “Let’s just say…we had a _conflict of interest_ back there,” Juliet offered. “Best not to ask about it - I think it might make Scafe cry…”

“No, it’s okay.” Scafe heaved a great sigh as he looked up at Max. “I guess we should explain…our _bad day at Freddy’s._ ”

Max’s eyes widened. “Freddy’s? …You don’t mean-”

“Yyyep, we do,” Juliet confirmed. “We found a version of that damned pizzeria with _all_ of the animatronics active…and the ol’ Purple Guy about to do what he does best.”

Now Max’s eyes narrowed to slits behind his mask. “Child murderers…one of the lowest forms of scum in creation. Just as bad as… _him_.” He tapped his mask grimly, making Scafe sigh sympathetically.

“Yeah, I know, right? Needless to say, Juliet and I weren’t gonna let ol’ Kill-Billy get away with it, so we butted in before he could kill anyone.” He glanced at Juliet with a low growl. “Unfortunately…we had different ideas on the definition of _stopping_ him…”

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Scafe and Juliet’s visit to Freddy’s Funtime Pizzeria revealed two fatal flaws to the murderous plan of William “Purple Guy” Afton. Firstly, his entire plan hinged on no one suspecting that he’d lure five children into the Parts and Services room to kill them; secondly, he hadn’t made contingencies for encounters with actual superpowered beings. Both mistakes proved costly - mere moments before he could strike, Scafe burst into the room and summoned several heavy chains from the floor to bind William in place.

“Game over, you homicidal purple _fu-_ ” Scafe froze as he remembered the children in the room. “I mean, _jerk!_ He hastily corrected himself even as he tightened the chains around his captive.

With no way to break the chains tying him down, William opted to play the “denial” card. “Um, I’m…I’m sure there’s been some sort of misundersta-” His alibi turned into a yelp as Scafe’s chains briefly burst into flames - not long enough to burn his Spring Bonnie suit, but more than enough to intimidate their prisoner into silence.

“Spare me the ‘innocent victim’ card,” the dragon growled. “Don’t ask me how, but I know _exactly_ what you’re doing here. And I’ll make damn sure you pay for it with a nice long stay in ja-”

“YAAAAAH!!!”

Moving so fast that she appeared as a blur streaked with tiny lights, Juliet charged into the room and slashed her katana at William’s neck. By the time Scafe and the children realized she was there, the purple-clad murderer’s head was flying into Juliet’s hand, falling from the Spring Bonnie mask as she held the latter by the ear.

“Rest in pieces, you smirking piece of-” The cyborg’s witty one-liner was interrupted by Scafe.

“Juliet! What the…heck?!” he roared, once again catching himself mid-swear as he dispelled his chains.

Juliet looked between Scafe and the kids, who were obviously stunned by what had just happened. “…Oh. Right…sorry, I forgot the kids were in the room-”

Scafe shook his head furiously, although he gestured for the horrified children to leave nonetheless. “Forget the kids, you half-bald lunatic! What the hell did you just do?!” He gestured at William’s severed head, unable to articulate his horror and anger.

“Uhh…I cut off his head.” Juliet shrugged as she sheathed her sword, unsure of what she’d done wrong. “You had him pinned already, so I figured I’d get ourselves a nice trophy and rid this world of a _seriously_ messed-up asshat in one fell swoop.” Her tone became more defensive when Scafe’s glare didn’t abate. “Don’t tell me you feel _sorry_ for him?! I remember enough of the _FNaF_ lore to know this guy didn’t deserve to live.”

That made Scafe avert his gaze, but only so he could slap himself in the face. “Yes, but did you have to do it _in the fucking pizzeria?!_ ” he bellowed. “Not only did you just traumatize five little kids, but how do you think the management is gonna react to this?! The place is gonna go down the same spiral of destruction as they did in the games - and _we’re_ probably gonna be wanted for murder!”

“Oh, don’t be such a downer.” Juliet scoffed as she tossed the empty animatronic head aside - causing it to hit a wall with a muffled _twang_ \- before grabbing William’s head off the bloodied floor. “Nobody saw that - ‘cept the kids - and we’re getting outta here right now, anyway. We’ll be _long_ gone before anything happ-”

The sound of whirring machinery made the pair turn. On the floor behind them, Spring Bonnie’s head had started to move, animatronic eyes and jaws visible behind its mask. Despite lacking a body, the golden rabbit’s head managed to sit itself upright, and its jaw promptly dropped as it beheld the gory sight in the room.

“…C’mon Scafe, quit with the fucking antics.” Juliet deepened her glare as she walked out of the room. “We’ve got better things to do than play puppet with the disembodied animatronic head…”

“Uhh…that isn’t me,” Scafe said. “Spring Bonnie’s a hybrid model, remember? I guess tossing him on the ground must’ve deactivated his spring locks and reset him to ‘animatronic mode’…and he doesn’t look too pleased with us.”

Juliet followed Scafe’s gaze to see Spring Bonnie’s head looking at them, his eyes flickering as audible beeping noises were heard from within the mask. Suddenly, the front of his body popped open, releasing William’s headless corpse as the rest of its animatronic endoskeleton deployed itself.

 _Bzzz...click…_ “...VIOLENCE DETECTED IN ESTABLISHMENT.” Spring Bonnie’s voice was an eerie mechanical monotone as his body walked over and picked up his head. “RULE VIOLATION! RULE VIOLATION! **LEVEL 20 ALERT** \- EXTREME RISK!!! INITIATING LOCKDOWN PROTOCOLS - ALL UNITS, ACTIVATE **SECURITY MODE.** ”

As Spring Bonnie reconnected his head to his neck, black panels extended over his eyes, leaving only their intensely glowing pupils visible. At the same time, alarms rang throughout the building, followed by a series of heavy _thuds_.

“Aww hell, what now?” Juliet sighed.

Scafe frowned contemplatively as he probed his memory. “I dunno, but those noises…they almost sound like- !!! Coming through!” He jumped through the door, nearly bowling Juliet over, as Spring Bonnie attempted to grab him.

“Hey, watch where you’re- !!!” Juliet froze as she saw the animatronic striding towards them with violent purpose. Scafe quickly grabbed her arm and led her back down the hall as fast as he could.

“Shit, shit, shit, _shit!_ ” the dragon cursed. “I think Fazbear Entertainment still rigged the bots to double as guards - and we’ve just set ‘em into full-on ‘kill’ mode! We gotta get outta here before-” He froze as he and Juliet returned to the main party room, with heavy metal shutters over every exit and the only other occupants being a large group of angry animatronics.

 _Beep…bzzz…whirr…_ “RULEBREAKERS SIGHTED.” The animatronics spoke in monotonous unison, white pupils blazing from their blackened eyeholes. “INITIATING APPREHENSION PROTOCOL - **LETHAL FORCE AUTHORIZED.** ”

Scafe went pale, but Juliet only rolled her eyes. “Welp…we can chalk up one more thing I actually _liked_ about this trip.” She began drawing her sword, only to pause as Scafe grabbed her arm.

“W-wait!” he cried. “We’re really going to fight these guys?! I-I don’t know about this!”

“Relax. They’re just a bunch of stupid animatronics - I’ve seen tougher _training drones._ We can cut through them in seco-”

“And cause even _more_ damage to the pizzeria?!” Scafe exclaimed, summoning a large chain from his hand to keep the advancing animatronics at bay. “Are you _trying_ to repeat history here?!!”

Juliet groaned incredulously as she finally understood Scafe’s worries. “No, genius - I’m trying to get outta here in one fucking piece!” She spun around to kick Spring Bonnie as he charged into the room behind them, using the motion to also free herself from Scafe’s grip and draw her sword. “If you didn’t notice, we’re locked in pretty tight - even without the animatronics trying to kill us, we’re gonna have to wreck some shit if we wanna escape!”

“Oh, so we’re gonna drive an innocent company into total ruin just because you couldn’t resist decapitating a guy?!” Scafe snarled to himself as he swung his chain around, sending most of the animatronics to the floor in a heap - predictably, this only proved a minor inconvenience. Foxy even leapt over the chain, forcing Scafe to breathe a gout of flame to deter the robotic pirate fox.

“It’s that or let ourselves be arrested and/or killed because _you_ put your fanboying over the greater good, pepper-breath!” Despite her vicious retort, Juliet still shoved Scafe out of the way as Toy Chica pounced at him, simultaneously throwing a spread of high-tech knives into the nearest wall.

Taking flight to avoid the animatronic crowd, Scafe gritted his teeth as he considered the situation, his love for the _Five Nights at Freddy’s_ series clashing with his survival instincts and recognition of Juliet’s logic. Finally, his common sense won out, prompting him to draw his scimitar and land behind the beleaguered cyborg.

“Grrrr… Alright, you win. Let’s just get this over with…”

Despite feeling near-tangible hostility from the draconic Councilman, Juliet couldn’t repress her smirk. “Don’t worry - this won’t even take five _seconds…_ ”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I wasn’t kidding either - those walking scrap heaps didn’t stand a chance once Scafe _finally_ saw things my way.” Juliet crossed her arms as Scafe buried his face in his hands. “After we sent ‘em all to the junkyard, we blew up the wall, ran back to the tunnel, and came up near Brian’s old pre-Society pad. Scafe found a Warp Pad in the closet, and…here we are, with a _heads-up_ on the gang.” She smirked as she presented William’s severed head to Max.

“Hm…it seems we’re on the same page, then.” Max pulled out the Nazi vampire’s head in turn. “Severed heads appear to be a running theme today…”

Juliet blinked. “Huh…go figure,” she said. “I sure hope that the other pairs didn’t stick to the trend, eh Scafe?” She looked over at the dragon’s seat, only to find Scafe gone. “…Where the hell did he wander off to?” she wondered aloud.

“He left somewhere around the head pun.” Max sighed, instantly recognizing Scafe’s mood from painful experience. “It might be awhile before he puts this incident behind him…”

“Right…” Juliet said. “At any rate, it looks like the others haven’t returned yet.”

Max shook his head. “I was just trying to set up the scanning tech here,” he explained. “I can’t seem to find the blasted manual, though - care to help me look?”

“Eh, got nothing better to do, soooo…sure.” Juliet shrugged as she began rummaging through some of the shelves Max had missed. ”Although, I wonder how Ego Biscuit and the Walking Fridge are doing.”

“Knowing them, they’re probably dealing with something less unfortunate than us.” Max replied. “Although I do hope that they make it back unscathed...” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Bex… I’ve heard some crazy shit before, so I can tell you with total confidence that your plan isn’t crazy at all.” Eli paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “It’s just COMPLETELY BATSHIT **INSANE!!!** ”

“I’m serious, Eli!” Becky interjected. “I just need you to lure Smaug over here, wait for my signal, and let the rest play itself out! You’re fireproof and super-fast, so Smaug shouldn’t be able to lay a claw on you!”

“Well, I _am_ pretty good…” Eli allowed himself a smug grin before returning to his misgivings. “…But are you absolutely sure this’ll work? If we make Smaug any more pissy, we’re probably gonna be toast - in your case, literally! And I’d rather take _this_ dragon over the one back home if anything happens to you…”

“Trust me on this, Eli.” Becky wagged a finger in the chinchilla’s face. “I’m an expert on this stuff~”

“Yeah, but this is the _real deal_ here! I’m an expert at anime-related culture, but you don’t see me prancing about, trying to fight a Colossal Titan!”

“First of all, _Attack on Titan_ is overrated. Second of all, you’d be dead in an instant! …And wait, I thought _Emily_ was the anime expert!”

“Nah, she’s just the expert on anime fandoms and shipp- LOOK, WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!? We need to get out of here _now!_ ” Eli was shouting now, partially out of exasperation, and partially because the hall was beginning to rumble; the unmistakable sound of Smaug approaching.

“My thoughts exactly!” Becky shouted back. “And if I remember correctly, _you_ said this was all a big trust exercise…so START TRUSTING!”

Eli’s face twisted with agonized indecision for a moment more, although it could easily be mistaken as a cringe when Smaug’s roar sounded all too close for comfort. “...Alright,” he said at last. “I guess I won’t live to regret this even if you _are_ wrong, so let’s do this!”

Becky beamed at Eli before quickly ducking out of sight as a familiar, massive shadow fell over the treasure hoard. The chinchilla took a deep steadying breath before drawing his staff and turning around to face Smaug as the latter glided to a thunderous halt before him.

“ **So, a pair of rats still scurries about my hoard,** ” the dragon rumbled. “ **If nothing else, you are very tenacious thieves...but you shall not take even _a single piece_ of my treasure! Say your parting words before my flames consume you!**”

In response, Eli only smirked. “Well, Bex wasn’t just _blowing smoke_ about your grandness,” he began. “But I got news for you, Your Magnificence: you _still_ can’t compare to the champ! I’m gonna wipe that supersized smile right off your scaly face…and look _damn_ good doing it!”

The cacophonic laugh that Smaug made in response to Eli’s boast could have easily been mistaken for a volcanic eruption. “ **Hahahahaha…bold words from a cornered rat. But I _do_ enjoy a good riddle; just what hope do you have in escaping me, little one?**”

Eli gave a laugh of his own as he pulled out his shades and put them on his nose. “Try not to blink, chili-breath - you’ll miss the part where I _drop your ass_!”

Smaug answered the taunt with a burst of intense flames, but Eli was already in motion, dashing under the dragon and leaping onto a mound of treasure. As Smaug turned around, Eli used his staff to pole-vault onto the colossal monster’s back, clinging for dear life on one of Smaug’s spines. From his perch, he could see Becky surreptitiously firing ice blasts at specific pillars around the room. 

_Ohh…NOW I see what she’s up to._ With a knowing grin, Eli jumped off of Smaug’s back and ran to one of the marked pillars, breaking off the ice with his staff. “Over here, ya overgrown flying lizard!” he yelled.

Smaug roared angrily as he sent another blast of fire in Eli’s direction. The Crimson Councilman darted away, leaving the flames to engulf the rock as he positioned himself in front of another marked pillar. Smaug quickly readjusted his aim, but Eli was quicker still, evading waves of fire and thrashing reptilian limbs as he led the dragon around the room. 

_C’mon...just a little more…_ From her perch above the blocked tunnel entrance, Becky watched with bated breath as Eli positioned himself in front of one last pillar on the opposite end of the room.

“Is that all you got?” he taunted. “Guess all that bling in your scales is weighing you down something fierce!”

“ **YOU ARE ONLY DELAYING YOUR IMMINENT DEMISE!!!** ” Smaug bellowed as he charged straight at his target, jaws aglow with the biggest burst of his fire breath yet.

“More like bringing _yours_!” Eli retorted. “It’s _showtime!_ ”

The flames pouring from Smaug’s mouth lit up the entire chamber as Eli immediately dashed forward, causing the fire to melt clear through the pillar. Coupled with the damage done to the other supports, the entire room began to rumble as stairs and floors gave way overhead.

“Here comes the _dirt nap_ , Smauggy!” Without even waiting to see the dragon’s reaction, Eli ran full-tilt towards the tunnel entrance. Becky immediately fired an ice blast at the top of the rubble - still hot from Smaug’s first fire attack - causing the rocks to crack audibly from thermal shock. As increasingly large chunks of the hall fell around him, Eli vaulted over the floor and drove his staff into the frozen part of the rubble, shattering it with ease and propelling himself into the tunnel. Becky quickly hooked her grapple gun around the upper edge of the opening and swung after Eli as the chamber collapsed behind her.

“Whew…that was easier than I thought it would be. Guess you’re even _cooler_ than I thought.” 

Becky frowned at Eli, although her eyes still sparkled with delight. “Nice to see your pun center still working overtime. I’ll be sure to leave that out when we tell the others about this one…”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With most of the mutant toons distracted by Patrick’s “willing” sacrifice, Brian and Tim were free to run along the rooftops, searching for a way out of the “Cartoon Hellworks” they had stumbled upon with their sackful of Future Seeds.

“See anything yet!?” Brian shouted to Tim, currently flying overhead on the lookout for anything that may look like an exit.

“Nothing yet, sir!” Tim responded. “This place is more confusing than Eli’s addiction to chocolate pudding!”

“Ugh…well that’s great,” Brian groaned. “We got what we came for and yet we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

“Chin up, my friend.” Tim landed next to the spider-bunny, patting him on the shoulder. “Things may seem bleak, but I’m sure we’ll find the exit soon enough. Besides, we can take solace in the fact that we escaped the worst this place has to offer thanks to Patrick.”

“I know… It’s just that with all that’s been going on; the last thing we need right now is another unnecessary surprise…”

“DID SOMEBODY SAY ‘SURPRISE???’” The new voice rang out like a broken ambulance siren, almost drowning out the sound of rapidly-approaching footsteps.

“…Oooooooh, fuck me running…” Brian’s face fell as he saw a massive form charging towards them. It resembled a fusion of three young humans and a massive dog, with an inordinate amount of high-tech weaponry sticking out at every angle. The smallest humanoid body protruded from the front of the dog’s head, its own scalp ablaze with intense fire; the other two bodies were fused at the shoulder on the dog’s back, leaking unknown ichors from every orifice and connected to the brunt of the technology by masses of wires.

Tim frowned as he drew his weapons. “This one seems…different…than the others. More articulate…and far better armed.”

Brian nodded grimly, already pulling the Almighty Pencil from his ear. “Figures. I’m not sure whether I should consider them better or worse of- WHOA!” He barely jumped aside in time to avoid a spread of oversized bullets from the monster’s guns.

“Well, Sergeant.” Tim said. “Any ideas?”

“Just one: get the hell down!” Brian hastily drew a shield in front of himself and Tim as the monster’s lead head released a fiery laser from its scalp. The shield absorbed the blast, but just barely - the resulting explosion blew it to smithereens and sent Brian and Tim flying to a rooftop several blocks down.

“Ooogh…that’s one hell of a flight…” Brian sat up groggily, but he snapped back to attention when he saw something familiar overhead. “Tim! Look up there!”

The well-dressed pegasus quickly saw what had caught Brian’s eye: the floating landmass with the tunnel exit they had entered from. “I assume that is our exit…provided we can evade the behemoth out for our blood.” He gestured to the monstrosity bearing down on them.

“ _This is ridiculous!_ ” Zeus lamented. “ _Brian, let me take over. We’ll get this job done a lot quicker!”_

“Whoa, hang on!” Brian replied. “We don’t _have_ to beat this freak, just keep it busy long enough to get the hell outta here!”

“ _And you have a plan for that?_ ” Zeus asked.

“As a matter of fact, I _do_.” Brian grinned as he began drawing something. “Keep its attention for me, Tim!”

“At once, sir!” Tim nodded. “Let’s see if it has the _time_ to spare~” He chuckled lightly as he flew towards the abomination, firing a beam from his stopwatch to slow its movements and draw its attention.

“ _Brian, when we get back, can we_ please _do something about Tim’s time puns?” asked Zeus. “ _He’s been a part of the Society for one fucking day, and I’m_ already _sick of them!_ ”_

_“You’re just gonna have to get used to them, Zeus.” Brian gave a chuckle of his own as he finished his latest creation: a giant laser cannon with “24K” written on the side. Pushing some buttons on the back of the weapon, the hybrid Councilman called out to his ally. “Tim! We’re good to go - make yourself scarce!”_

_Tim immediately obeyed, weaving around the time-slowed blasts of his enemy on his way back to Brian’s position. As the mutant gave a distorted, confused growl, Brian flicked a final switch, causing a large yellow laser to burst from the cannon. When it struck the monster, it began rapidly turning it into solid gold._

_“Hahaha~ I guess you could say…I got the ‘Midas Touch’. >u>”_

_“ _I take it back. Even TIM is a better punmaker than you,_ ” Zeus groaned._

_“I concur…but what your host lacks in humor, he compensates for with creative - and aesthetically pleasing - weaponry.” Tim indicated the mutant, who was trying desperately to bring its guns to bear on him. However, the lingering time-slowing effect left it unable to move fast enough before it was completely petrified._

_“Thanks, Tim!” Brian gave the anthro-pegasus a thumbs-up before erasing his cannon. “And we even have a way outta here now - straight up Big, Gold, and Ugly here!” He pulled out his grapple pistol and began scaling the frozen monster’s back - after a moment, Tim picked up the sack of Future Seeds and flew over to meet him near the tunnel entrance._

_“Well, initial impressions and unsavory atmosphere aside…I think this excursion went rather well.” Tim dusted off his suit sleeve and smiled at Brian. “Wouldn’t you agree, Sergeant?”_

_“Yeah…I guess you’re right,” Brian agreed as he shot his grapple into the tunnel above. “But I think _you’ll_ agree with me when I say that I _never_ want to be back here again.”_

_Tim’s smile vanished in an instant as he followed his superior back into the Nexus Underground. “Most definitely seconded.”_

_“ _Glad we’re clear on that._ ” Zeus took a moment to spit in the general direction of the chunk they’d just left. “ _Let’s get back to the HQ before we find any more ‘surprises’ down here._ ”_

_Brian and Tim nodded in agreement as they began retracing their steps through the tunnel. However, it soon became clear to both of them that they were going down an entirely different path from the way they’d come in._

_“Brian, correct me if I’m wrong, but…weren’t we supposed to have found fresh air by now?”_

_“I hate to say it, but you’re right.” Brian groaned. “We’re-”_

_“-completely effing _lost,_ and I have no idea why!” Both Society members started at the familiar voice heard from nearby._

_“Eli?” Brian ventured. “You and Becky are here?”_

_On cue, Eli and Becky ran around the corner. “Heya Sarge!” the former cried. “Fancy meeting you down here! How’d the treasure hunt go?”_

_“Uggh! Finally!” Brian sighed in relief. “A face I _don’t_ want to punch.”_

_“…I’m sorry?” Eli responded._

_“ _It's a long story…_ ” Zeus replied, before taking note of the jeweled sword on Eli’s back. “ _And by the looks of it, you two found something nice down here._ ”_

_“That’s _also_ a long story,” Becky commented. “But maybe we should find our way outta here first, huh? Eli and I got down the tunnel easily enough, but now we’re - as he put it - completely effing lost.”_

_“It seems that these tunnels are even less predictable than any of us envisioned,” Tim mused. “Even a short visit to other worlds gives them ample time to shift dramatically.”_

_“Great,” Becky sighed. “So we’re basically gonna be stuck wandering underground forever?”_

_“Don’t count on it,” Eli said. “Ol’ Sarge and I still have a trick up our sleeves.”_

_“And what would that be?” Tim asked._

_Brian smirked confidently. “Just follow our lead…”_

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_“Oh yes, this is _very_ brilliant,” Becky snarked. “Walking down a random tunnel and hoping that the slope means we’re getting closer to the surface...how long did this brilliant plan take to hatch? Three seconds, maybe four, tops?”_

_“ _Can it, Bex,_ ” Zeus grumbled. “ _I don’t know about you, but we’ve had a hell of a day - I’m in no mood for that kind of sass._ ”_

_“I, personally, enjoy the _time out_ to recover from our ordeal,” Tim commented. “But I’m certain that we’ll soon find the semi-proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.”_

_The well-dressed pegasus was soon proven correct, as the faint glow of daylight became visible ahead. Quickening their pace, the quartet headed towards the light, emerging into open air at last…and finding themselves on the edge of a massive rock spire overlooking a wide green plain._

_“…Welp. We are _definitely_ not in Kansas anymore,” Brian quipped. “Anyone recognize this place?”_

_The other three shrugged helplessly. “Sorry, man, but I’m as stumped as you,” Eli said. “Guess we’re still lost as hell…”_

_“Maybe not,” Brian said. “It looks safe enough up here, at least - which means I can do _this!_ ” He pulled out the Almighty Pencil and started drawing. “I put a signal lock on the teleporter back home - all I have to do is draw the same type of Warp Pad, and we’re good to go!”_

_“Hmm…impressive forethought,” Tim commented. “All you have to do to mark a new area is to draw up a Warp Pad. If we all had the same ability, it would greatly expedite our travels across the Nexus.”_

_“ _Funny you should mention that,_ ” Zeus replied. “ _Brian and I_ were _thinking of something like that…but we’ll talk about it when we get back home. And speaking of which…_ ”_

_“Yep!” Brian grinned widely as he straightened up and stepped aside, revealing a fully-functional new Warp Pad on the cliff. “One fast track back to HQ, brand spankin’ new and ready to go!”_

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_When the quartet teleported back to their headquarters, they found Max, Juliet, and Emily watching television in the lounge. At the sound of footsteps, Max rose from his chair to greet the returnees._

_“Welcome back, everyone. It’s good to see you all in one piece.” The masked bear inclined his head at his fellow Councilmen as they entered the room. “How did your journeys go, gentlemen?”_

_“Oh, you will not BELIEVE the kind of crazy bullshit we had to endure.” Eli tossed his suit jacket on a nearby rack before flopping on the couch. “Me and Bex had a run in with the legendary dragon himself!”_

_Juliet’s eyes widened. “Holy shit… You saw _Bruce Lee?_ ” she asked._

_“…No, we ran into fuckin’ **Smaug!** ” Eli raised an eyebrow. “R-Really? Bruce Lee?!”_

_“Hey, don’t get mad at me! He’s known as ‘the Dragon’ thanks to his famous documentary.”_

_“At any rate,” Tim coughed. “Sir Brian and myself had to deal with a strangely erudite Patrick Star and a whole army of feral, mutated cartoon characters. We wouldn’t be here right now had it not been for Patrick’s sudden face turn.”_

_“Ours wasn’t anything special,” Emily scoffed. “We just went to some place that looked like London and was full of vampire-zombie dudes.”_

_“Sounds like you guys had the better places.” Juliet groaned. “Meanwhile me and old Dragon boy here were treated to Fazbear country…”_

_Scafe snorted as he came into the room. “Oh, come on Jules! It was great seeing the ol’ Fazbear crew…until _you_ had to get a little too slash-happy on the Purple Guy…”_

_“You are _such_ a fanboy…” Juliet rolled her eyes, pointedly ignoring the dragon’s frown._

_“Well, despite the crazy adventure we had exploring those worlds…including things we probably never want to see again…” Brian paused to shudder at the memory of the world he and Tim had visited. “…I think it was a treat for all of us. I’m sure we all had some great bonding experiences with one another, right?”_

_“Damn straight, Sarge.” Eli folded his arms. “If anything good came out of this excursion, I’ve grown a little closer to ya, Bex. You’re a pretty outstanding gal in the face of danger.”_

_“Heh…well, thanks Eli. I do like to think I’m pretty _chill_.” Becky’s smile and pun caused Scafe to narrow his eyes at Eli._

_“You better not get any ideas, chinchilla.” The wisp of smoke issuing from the dragon’s nostrils punctuated his threat._

_“Relaaax, Scafe,” Eli said. “I wouldn’t do that to you, man. I’m ‘Drive Mustang’, not ‘Drive-By-To-Steal-Yo-Girl Mustang’.”_

_“I’m watching you, Eels…” Scafe held his glare a moment longer before turning back to Juliet. “Listen, Jules…as much as I wish you hadn’t done what you did back there, I want you to know that I’m not holding it against you. You might be a gloomy gothic buzzkill…but you’re still pretty awesome in my book.”_

_“…Heh…thanks.” Juliet gave a faint smile behind her mask. “I guess you’re not _as_ insufferable as Silk Butt was when I first met him.”_

_Brian gave a sarcastic groan. “Wow… _thanks_ for that, Juliet. _Really_ felt the love there.”_

_“ Well, I suppose it just goes to show the strength of the bonds that are forming in this Society~” Athena added_

_“ _It sure does,_ ” Zeus agreed. “ _I can genuinely say that I’m actually_ glad _that Brian fought as hard as he did when I first infected him…_ ” Seeing the looks of confusion on some of the other members’ faces, he shrugged Brian’s shoulders. “ _Long story, trust me. Anyways, the point is that I’m glad Brian was able to keep me in check long enough for me to see the value of friendship. Seeing everyone here, bonding in spirit if not in body, makes me feel…happy._ ”_

_Everyone smiled at the Parasite’s words of praise. “Aaaawwww. Old Zoozy really does love us~” Eli said jokingly._

_“ _Shut it, you overgrown rat…_ ” Zeus growled. “ _I’ve still got my edge, even if I’m not as single-minded as before-_ ” He was interrupted when Emily glomped Brian with a shout of joy._

_“Aaaww, I love you guys, too! >U<” Emily jumped to her feet to look around the room. “We have such a great thing going on here! Now that Weiss and his band of killjoy chumps are gone, the Society is better than ever~! And now we’re ready to kick their asses if they ever show their faces around here again! Hahaha… Let’s see those blue-trotting fucks ruin what we have this time~!”_

_As if waiting for that very statement, the television program suddenly fizzled out. Before anyone could comment, the words “SPECIAL BULLETIN” appeared on the screen, followed by the image of a woman sitting in a newsroom._

_“We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news,” she began. “A massive disturbance has erupted in the vicinity of Zangaikotsu Island; hundreds of people are engaging in random acts of violence, theft, and kidnapping. Additionally, local airwaves are being hijacked in an increasingly-wide radius around the center of the anarchy - it may not be long before they override our very own- _kzzt_ ”_

_The rest of the report was lost in a buzz of static as the image flickered out. It was soon replaced by a blast of noise and a face that the Crimson Society recognized all too well; a frilled lizard with brown scales, black tattoos, red eyes, and a crazed expression. To the Councilmen’s dismay, he was also carrying a new guitar: an evil-looking instrument with spikes on the head and red eyes of its own dotting its dark blue body._

_“HELLOOO, NEXUS SURFACE! YOUR AIRWAVES HAVE BEEN ‘JACKED BY CMPM: CANNIBAL METALLIPANTHER MAIDEN!!!! THIS IS YOUR NEW HOST, THE LEADER OF THE SUCKHOLITES, AND YOUR NUMBAH-ONE METAL GOD-TO-BE: **MARCELL ONTARIOOOOOOO!!!!** ”_

_Eli cringed as Marcell punctuated his introduction with a wild guitar riff. “Good god; he’s even _louder_ than I remember him being…”_

_“WE’RE INTERRUPTING YOUR REGULAR, BORING-ASS SCHEDULE OF _SHIT_ -COMS, _BLAH_ -MAS, AND _FUCK-YOU_ -MENTARIES TO PLUG THE MOST **BADASS** EVENT OF THE _CENTURY!!!_ TODAY MARKS THE GLOBAL DEBUT OF THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING: _**LUCIFER SUCKHOLE!!!**_ ” Marcell stopped playing long enough to pull out a poster from his pocket, displaying an upside-down cross over a blood-red inverted pentagram._

_“The fuck kind of band name is _that?!_ ” Emily asked rhetorically._

_“Evidently, his obnoxious volume is matched only by his unoriginality,” Tim muttered._

_Meanwhile, Marcell was still ranting at the top of his lungs. “WE’VE ALREADY GOT HUNDREDS OF FANS EAGER TO SEE OUR FIRST EPIC CONCERT IN _SKULL MOUNTAIN ISLAND CASTLE_ , AND WITH GOOD FUCKING REASON!!! THERE’S GONNA BE MUSIC, MOSHING, AND A SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY NONE OTHER THAN THOSE RASCALLY RATFUCKERS THEMSELVES… **THE CRIMSON SOCIETYYYYYY!!!** ”_

_The Society members started at the mention of their name. As if sensing their shock, Marcell promptly got right up into the camera, making it look like he was trying to physically burst through the television screen._

_“THAT’S RIGHT, BITCHES! I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE, AND I _KNOW_ WHAT YOU’RE UP TO! BADASS MISTAH WEISS DOESN’T WANT YOU CRAMPING HIS STYLE, SO IMMA GIVE YOU A CHOICE! EITHER YOU SURRENDER TO THE AWESOME METALNESS OF THE AZURE INITIATIVE, OR LUCIFER SUCKHOLE IS GONNA PUT THE LIGHTS OUT ON ALL THE STATIONS - **PERMANENTLY!!!** ” Marcell gave a raucous, nasty laugh before jumping back and pointing his finger at the screen. “WHAZZAT?! YOU DON’T LIKE EITHER OPTION? WELL THEN, YOU BETTER MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT MY BADASS NEW METAL PARADISE…SO MY BAND AND OUR GROUPIES CAN WRECK! _YOUR! **SHIT!!!**_ ” _

_Marcell punctuated his threat with increasingly violent jabs of his finger - the final jab ended up knocking the camera from its perch, causing the feed to cut out. With silence restored in the room, the Society was left to dwell on the dangerous new development._

_“Th…This is awful!” Max cried at last. “Marcell’s been set loose, and now he’s wreaking ha-” He paused when he noticed the others trying to contain their laughter. “…What’s so funny??” He demanded._

_“I…I’m sorry, but… _Lucifer Suckhole and the Suckholites??_ ” Brian burst out laughing. “This guy can’t think of an intimidating name to save his life!”_

_“I know!” Eli agreed. “And what’s with _Skull Mountain Island Castle_ , too? Did he _seriously_ just take the English translation of Zangaikotsu Island and stick a “Castle” on the end?”_

_“ Whatever the…case…it seems that the threat…is very real.” Athena’s words were hampered by Emily rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically. “Marcell…is most likely…behind the strange…riots…taking place on…the Surface.”_

_Athena’s reminder of the growing crisis finally sobered the mood among the Society. Once everyone had stopped laughing, Brian got up from his seat._

_“Alright, everyone…we should go to the meeting room. We’d better discuss what we’re gonna do about this…’cause it doesn’t sound like time is on our side.”_

_The others nodded in agreement as they followed Brian and the other Councilmen out of the lounge, their ears still ringing from Marcell’s broadcast and their hearts burdened with the knowledge that their feud with the Azure Initiative has reignited with a vengeance…_

_**-THE SOCIETY WILL RETURN-** _

**Author's Note:**

> Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria belongs to Scott Cawthon.  
> Smaug belongs to Tolkien.  
> Hellsing!London belongs to Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse.  
> Cartoon Hellscape, while a creation of Brian's, belongs to its various creators. If you can tell who's who, you know who they belong to.
> 
> I am LadyIrene #2020 on Discord and Insanity_Lady on Twitter.


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